resistance is fertile

living underground in the real world

jerusalem artichokes: a pictorial tutorial January 29, 2009

Filed under: cooking is vegan (of course),recipe! — lagusta @ 12:05 am

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The other night Jacob was going through some boxes in his office, and he came across two Playboys in a box of junk people had left on some tour bus or other. I know you’re thinking that they were his and saying he found them on the bus was his quick-witted excuse, but anyone who knows Jacob knows how laughable that is. Either way, I of course had to spend the rest of the night reading every word of them.

WOW! PLAYBOY! So tame compared to the wild wild internet. I know I should go through them and pull out the zillions of Women’s-Studies-major-term-papery topics (“Legs spread, mouth shut: the discursive semiotics of speech and silence in Playboy, November 2007,” or maybe just “From ‘Flame Crotch’ to ‘Landing Strip’: pubic hair fashions through the ages”), but I didn’t want to touch them all that much, and a feminist deconstructing Playboy is, I suppose, so passé.

So, all I will say is that they really made me want to use the word pictorial in everyday speech. This, combined with the realization that no one seems to know what to do with or how wonderful are Jerusalem artichokes (variously also called “sunchokes”), herewith, some serious veggie porn!

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While standing at a friend’s farmstand this fall, I watched probably ten people in a row ask her, “Jerusalem artichokes? How do you cook them?” I stood there for twenty minutes or so just saying “ROAST THEM!!!” over and over and over, so maybe I should tell the entire world how utterly breathtakingly amazing roasted Jerusalem artichokes are. They are seriously rad, and you need to try them.

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They are so nice raw, too, thinly sliced and dressed with a nice vinaigrette—perfect!

And! the most amazing, hauntingly complex soups can be made by peeling them, slicing them as thinly as possible, then sautéing them slowly in olive oil with some lightly browned onions until super super soft. Add some coconut milk, lemon juice, s&p, and puree until super velvety (strain through cheesecloth or pass through a ricer for the most perfect texture) for a truly strange and most wonderful soup. Add herbs and spices as you see fit, but with a very light hand so you don’t mask the wonderful sunchokey flavor. I saw somewhere that someone added lemongrass to a soup like this, and these days I add a little lemongrass extract (because I get nice organic extracts here and because I am too lazy to fiddle with the real thing–though it’s so easy: just chop it up and simmer it in the coconut milk for a few minutes, then strain it.).

The rules for roasted sunchokes:

They are always insanely dirty, and are a good excuse to buy a little veggie scrubby brush.

Don’t peel them unless you are puréeing them. The peels, while magnificently dirty, are also magnificently flavorful. I’m not one of those dirty hippies who refuses to peel veggies, but I never peel sunchokes, because half their flavor is in the peel. Also, you can’t really roast a peeled sunchoke, because it will disintegrate. A properly roasted whole unpeeled sunchoke is basically a marvelously mushy bag of flavor, and you really need that skin to hold it all together.

So you’ve washed them and scrubbed and scrubbed, and there are some parts that are so dirty that you just have to peel them:

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That’s OK, just minimize the peeling. These particular ‘chokes were very long and skinny, but the ideal is a small, round little dude—that way you can roast them whole, which is really best to get the “bag of flavor” effect discussed above.

Then chop them, if you have to:

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Could I take a non-blurry picture if my life depended on it? Probably not.

And roast. You know the deal, high heat, stir, olive oil, sea salt, pepper, blah blah. I roast mine at 475°F or even 500°F until a thin-bladed knife slips in and out of the center of one easily.

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Steamy!

dscf1628Yummy!

 

Ariel Levy fucks over vegans whilst discussing fucking generally January 28, 2009

Filed under: cooking is vegan (of course),culture and its discontents,New Yorker whiteboy watch — lagusta @ 2:04 am

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I’ve always had a lot of affection for Ariel Levy. She’s a good feminist doing good work, and I loved her wife’s wedding tuxedo getup.

Unfortunately she’s done for me, and this is tragic.

I can’t let this go by. In her (interesting) review of the new vs. old Joy of Sex in the January 5, 2009 New Yorker, she drops this little bomb:

If “The Joy of Sex” was like “Joy of Cooking”….“Our Bodies, Ourselves” was like the “Moosewood Cookbook.” Everything in it was healthful, enlightened, nourishing.
Here’s a trick you might try at home sometime: pick almost any recipe in the “Moosewood.” Now add bacon. You will find that the addition of this decidedly unwholesome ingredient makes the food taste much better. “Our Bodies, Ourselves,” likewise, lacked a certain trayf allure. The revised edition of the book—even the original—is a fantastic resource for educating young women (and very sophisticated girls) about their physicality. But as an erotic reference for adults in 2008 it’s a little vegan.

Oh, fuck you!

OK, I see your point, but the reason vegans are seen in popular culture as pale pleasure-deniers is because popular culture is reductionist and idiotic, not because it’s a true stereotype. And while I find the Moosewood Cookbook adorable, no sane vegan (or, person) cooks from it.

The point is: this just has to stop. Well-meaning liberal people making jokes out of being vegan WILL NOT BE TOLERATED. I just hate this shit. To make fun of someone’s choice to decrease violence and unnecessary death in the world, Ms. Levy, is not funny. Not fucking funny at all. I’m taking Female Chauvinist Pigs off my “to read” Powells wishlist—which it seriously was on!

Let’s play a little substitution game that will point out how idiotic this faux-snarky little crap zinger is. If you wouldn’t say these things, you shouldn’t talk shit about being vegan.

But as an erotic reference for adults in 2008 it’s a little anti-rape.

But as an erotic reference for adults in 2008 it’s a little pro-human rights.

But as an erotic reference for adults in 2008 it’s a little against child pornography.

But as an erotic reference for adults in 2008 it’s a little pro-gay marriage.

But as an erotic reference for adults in 2008 it’s a little feminist.

But as an erotic reference for adults in 2008 it’s a little Democratic.

But as an erotic reference for adults in 2008 it’s a little anti-racist.

But as an erotic reference for adults in 2008 it’s a little multi-cultural.

You see? You’re trying to be funny, but you’re being REALLY OFFENSIVE.

STOP IT.

 

beloved barney: the radical congressman who wasn’t January 28, 2009

Filed under: New Yorker whiteboy watch,politics — lagusta @ 1:09 am

Peeps! BE EXCITED! I’ve got a super nice post and a super mean post lined up for you tonight, both about The New Yorker. Here we go! Guess which is which?

I’ve always had a lot of affection for Barney Frank. Remember when Bush took his cell phone out of his hands and talked to his boyfriend? Oy!

The New Yorker just had a nice Jeffrey Toobin profile on him which I read intently. I have this horrible trait of looking for reasons not to love the people I love, so I went through the article circling potential reasons not to love Barney. I do this not (only) because I am the most negative person you’ve ever met, but also because I want to be armed to instantly refute if someone points out flaws in someone I admire—people are assholes like that, have you noticed? The minute you say someone is interesting or smart or worthy of slavish hero worship they feel the need to tell you that their cousin once fucked them in a bathroom and they were “small in the game” (a phrase I just learned, courtesy of Lily Allen). I mean, I am always looking for more information on peeps, but man, people can be idiotic with that shit.

So here’s what I’ve got for Barney Frank:

Joe Corcoran, a giant developer dude, says,

Barney is a real capitalist. He understands that we have to make a profit.

Oh, sad face. (he also says: “Barney is the smartest politician I’ve ever seen. I have no problem with him being gay, or being Jewish. I like Jews. I like doing business with Jews. They know how to make a deal.” Of course!)

Michael Oxley, former chairman of the Financial Services Committee says:

Barney, to some extent, is misunderstood—with this image of him as a fierce partisan. He is an institutionalist. He believes in the House and in the process.

Of course, neither of these came straight from Frank, but this did:

And it struck me, before I conceptualized this, that the answer to that was public-private partnership, that that’s the way to do affordable housing. And then it struck me: You know what? This is the model for other things. Public-private-sector coöperation.

Really? I am not so sure at all. But I believe in you, Barney! Convince me! (& oh, I adore that TNYer does the accent over the o in cooperation!)

So…should I not love Barney Frank if he is a capitalist and an institutionalist, being as I am an anarchist antipreneur*?

When I was deciding who to honor for my upcoming line of feminist chocolates, I made a giant list of women and literally assigned point values: were they white? Minus 1 point—I had too many white women in the lineup already (bye bye Rachel Carson!). Were they born rich (I loved you once, Natalie Barney!)? Minus 2 points, I fucking hate richies. I dropped Dolores Huerta because she endorsed Hillary, and on and on.

And although I think that was the right approach for the chocolate line, as I wanted my ladies to be beyond reproach, I’m OK with looking up to people whose values and, most likely, actions I don’t always agree with. It’s like Naomi Klein says in that little text box on the right up there—politicians need rabble-rousers on the left to help move them along and to show that there is support for leftist policy.

I can work for anarchist utopia, which is never going to happen in my lifetime, while Barney Frank works to keep the system we have from being completely taken over by idiots on the right. We are on parallel but not identical trajectories, and while much of our work is the same, the end results are very different. I’m OK with all that. I’m OK with pretty much anyone doing anything to stop the madness, I guess that’s what I’m saying. And anyway, with the kumbaya president we’re going going on now, we need Barney Franks to make sure Obama listens to the left wing of the Democratic party.

Also, how could you not love someone who says stuff like this?

Not long ago, Paul Begala, the political strategist, was speaking at a fund-raiser for a gay-rights group and said, “When I told my father, back in Texas, that I was speaking to an L.G.B.T. group, he said that sounded like a sandwich.” From the audience, Frank called out, “Sometimes it is!”

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*I stole the “antipreneur” title from Adbusters, do you love it?

 

monday miscellany: links, a product, a conversation January 26, 2009

Filed under: cooking is vegan (of course) — lagusta @ 1:28 pm
  • Good Guide–I read about this somewhere and it seemed really neat, but now I can’t remember exactly why.

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  • My friend Jenny just rolled out this ridiculously lovely swimsuit and more collection—click and fall in love! They are so handmade, so vintage, so adorable—so much like Jenny herself, who is truly one of those bubbly, outgoing balls of light whose brightness amazes me. Jenny has to be the only person in the world who lives in LA and is around fashiony and famousy people all the time, yet is never pretentious or stuck up or even jaded or hipstery.
  • Are you mildly in love with pepperoncini peppers, but are always looking for ones without yellow dye and sulfates? I finally found my dream pepperoncini: Zorba brand. Hooray!img_0926

Conversation with a new friend at the Chili Cookoff: “It’s funny to meet you after reading your blog, because…”

“Because I am so incredibly not crazy in person, in contrast to my crazy, angry, radical, wild blog self?”

“Yep, exactly.”

“I know. Everyone says that.”

 

latkes for dinner January 25, 2009

Filed under: cooking is vegan (of course),recipe! — lagusta @ 3:08 am

Are you ready for the simplest, most pure blog post ever? Here we go:

(more…)

 

chili madness January 23, 2009

Filed under: cooking is vegan (of course),new paltz — lagusta @ 8:36 pm

Just a quickie note because I’m deep into truffle world (which is going much better than yesterday, hooray!!): I’ll be participating in the Water Street Market Local Foods Chili Cookoff tomorrow, Saturday, from 1-3 at Water Street Market. I’m putting the finishing touches on my chili right now, and, well, why not just be straight about it? It’s ridiculously awesome, filled with amazing ingredients like homemade tempeh, homemade paprika, beer, chocolate, fresh chile paste, and more local ingredients than…well, let’s hope than the other chilies, so I will at least win the “most local ingredients” prize! There is also a people’s choice award, so come and vote for my chili and say hello to my freezing self (it’s outside, unheated, for 3 hours, what’s that about?). Or, if you prefer, you can just pray to have heaping coals poured on my heathen head. Either one is cool!

Lag out!

 

friction, benediction, prediction January 23, 2009

Filed under: culture and its discontents,self-titled,small (business) is all — lagusta @ 2:29 am

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How is it possible that this was just two weeks and two days ago?

The bad day really started in the health food store. Jacob was off at the bagel shop getting us bagels because it was noon and we hadn’t eaten anything all day, just jumped up and fed the cats and ran out the door like we do on days when errands and work need to be done and the car needs to be juggled between us. Jacob had just called to tell me that there was no peanut butter for the bagels, and I wasn’t looking forward to my one sit-down meal (the relaxing sound of that being somewhat mitigated by the fact that the sit was going to take place in the car) consisting of an undertoasted (always!) undereverythinged everything bagel with nothing but a giant glob of overly sugary jam in the middle. Jacob would be happy with tofutti cream cheese, but I am made of finer stuff (or, at least, will pretend I am for purposes of this blog post), and cannot abide that concoction.

So I was in the health food store: sneaking a pistachio from the bulk bin, wondering exactly who was buying those wrinkly summer squashes in upstate New York in January, and, as ever, forgetting to write the code on my bulk purchases.

I caught a glimpse of one of those college girls you sometimes see in college towns—glimmering with beauty and absolutely no truth whatsoever. I am thirty years old and have quite a lot of truthiness to me, but at age nineteen I was pretending to be Rimbaud and Kathleen Hanna and anyone who would teach me something about poetry or how to dress, feminism or French. I was obsessive about my outfits, which were weird concoctions of overly matchy, punky, preppy, deeply meaningful and (I thought) witty ensembles that often needed explaining. I ate horrible food and often had rivulets of pink or red or purple dye running down my neck because I had an idea that my dye would stick better to my badly bleached dark brown hair if I never rinsed it out, and yes, I now fully realize the ridiculous and unsanitary nature of this idea.

This girl in the health food store was not me.

In fact, she had a whiff of a sorority girl about her. I must confess that she was wearing the dreaded and horrid college-town combination of leggings and dangerously Ugg-like furry boots (I can’t exactly put my finger on why this combination irks me so, maybe someone else can–I know I’m not the only one. All I know is that it does, deeply.).

I recognized a college-age vibrancy about her, though, and it made me feel eminently schlubby and exhausted. She was beauty and no truth, and I was world-weary wintery truth, sorely lacking in beauty on a late-January rushed work day. She was wearing a perfect long sweaterdress H&M-type thing, and her hair just looked so clean and tousled and effortless, in contrast to my workaday ponytail and jeans, and I fell in love with her for the briefest moment. I confess to being a terrible stare-er when I see a woman whose style I like, and I tiredly stared at her. She flashed me a—yes—beautiful smile with absolutely nothing, truth-wise, underneath it.

I paid and left the store and ate the bagel blob in the car, while we drove to my kitchen and worried about whether the car was making a weird noise. I told Jacob that we had been home for two weeks, and I might as well admit that winter was already getting me down.

The problem, was, of course, that I hate winter clothes specifically and mine in particular. I then gave a ridiculously long disquisition that could have been summed up in the tagline for a chain of NYC beauty-supply shops: Lookin’ Good, Feelin’ Good. Jacob—as always, ever patient, helpful, and thoughtful (very irritating traits when one is working oneself into a day-long bad mood and doesn’t want to be talked out of it)—tried to make the point that if I don’t see anyone (except, now and then, Veronica, or the odd passers-by needing directions which I can rarely give), does it matter if I look good? Wasn’t it like the if-a-tree-falls-in-the-forest thing?

I sighed at what a ridiculously gendered discussion we were having and tried to avoid saying that all of my girlfriends would have understood my point of view instantly, and merely said that it was not a tree-in-the-forest thing, as me, being the tree, would know if I had fallen, obviously.

Then work, and nice chats with Veronica while making truffles, until a long, complicated and completely frustrating 10-hour-long argument with my chocolate tempering machine began and snagged and jammed up the entire day, and I won’t get into it, but it was mind-bogglingly irritating.

My mind was boggled by the time Jacob came to pick me up. I should have worked another hour or two, but I just got in the car, leaving the machine and I to go another round tomorrow, everything unsettlingly undone and untidy.

But the minute I got home, with the house all warm and fireplacey-smelling, with the sweet cats and soft sheets and all that home stuff that makes life worth living, I decided to take a late-night shower and bid a conscious farewell to the day.

I took off my giant winter coat, ugly winter shoes, gloves, scarf, and hat. I went to the bathroom and took off the heavy sweater and the light sweater, the heavy undershirt, the light undershirt, and the instead-of-a-bra-undershirt. I took off my jeans, long underwear, short underwear, socks pair #1 and socks pair #2. I even took off my Whispertown 2000 harmonica necklace, after playing a mournful note to mark the end of the bad day.

I looked at my wintery naked self in the mirror, and felt OK. I have a little secret: I’ve always liked my body. We became friends a long time ago, when I was growing up in a scary house and felt so profoundly alone that I would sit with my knees up to my chin and pretend that my knees were a comforting friend. When scary things are happening all around you, it’s easy to be friends with your insides. Being alone with my body always reminds me that things are OK. Is that weird?

So I got into the shower, and literally just, you know, washed it all away. Chocolate fights and cold toes and the whole thing. Midnight shower, powering down for the night, just my head and my tired limbs. It’s all good.

Tomorrow.

 

containers co-op January 20, 2009

Filed under: cooking is vegan (of course),new paltz,stop consuming so fucking much — lagusta @ 4:45 pm

For New Paltz people only, a notice I just sent to the New Paltz Times:

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For my meal delivery service, I use reusable containers that are washed and sterilized each week. However, I have been searching for eco-friendly disposable packaging alternatives for one-time orders such as gifts of meals. I know that many food businesses around town would also like to use corn-based, potato starch-based or otherwise recyclable and/or compostable disposable takeout containers, but the costs are often many times that of styrofoam or plastic containers. In an attempt to save money for all of us, I am looking to start a sort of containers co-op of businesses and individuals who would go in on a large order every few months from a company that supplies eco-friendly containers. If you are interested in participating, please contact me at lagusta@lagustasluscious.com. Please include the approximate number of containers you use per month as well as the exact sizes of your current containers and prices (so I can attempt to find comparable prices). If you know of a company that makes eco-friendly containers, please let me know that too! I will research our options and email everyone to discuss the next step.

 

liveblogging the inauguration, in the form of facebook status updates January 20, 2009

Filed under: culture and its discontents,politics — lagusta @ 1:55 pm

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the hawai’ian flag

lagusta…
Is wondering: would there still be an annoying prayer invocation thingie at the inauguration if the president-elect was an atheist?

Wishes she was as simple-minded as everyone who believes BO will solve all our problems—life would be so easy! until the great disappointment…

‘s journalist mom sent her the press copy of the inauguration speech half an hour before she was supposed to go public with it—it has “EMBARGOED UNTIL DELIVERY” written all over it.

Is sad that no network would let her blue-streaky hair on live TV if she was in DC.

‘s Backwards Bush clock is exactly 11 hours off. Thank god, I don’t think I could have taken 11 more hours of Bush.

In case you were wondering, absolutely thinks the First Lady should get a salary, even though it would come out of her pocket.

‘s three cats are all staring at her, wanting food much more than some historic presidency or something.

Loved Aretha Franklin’s hat!!!

Is forced to listen to her sound engineer sweetheart make comments like “good thing they have in-ear monitors” and “ooh, nice Neumann mic!” while she would prefer to listen to Yo-Yo Ma in silence.

Knows that a skinny, young African-American guy running for president needed a look of serious gravitas, but is hoping that he can retire that upturned chin, ultra-serious look now.

Is really happy her Obama-obsessed mom is so happy today, and is sad to think of her at work surrounded by Orthodox right-wing colleagues who don’t share her joy.

“What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them—that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply.” Let’s hope!!!

I’ll hold you to this promise, my friend: “We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories.” (also, how many “winds” are there?)

Pretty words, and it will take a lot of courage to live up to them: “…Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill.  Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control – and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous.” Money generates freedom? Hrumph.

‘s mind is totally blown every time she thinks about: “why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.”

Did he say this? It was in the transcript, but I was on the phone for a minute and might have missed it: “We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus – and non-believers.” YAYYY!!!

Loves poetry almost more than anything in this world, but didn’t like that poem so much—too lofty!

But the guy who followed the poet, Joseph Lowery, I’m in love with him! What was that about the “yellows being mellow”? He was insane and wonderful.

Immediately after the inauguration, my black cat swiped my white cat and pinned her to the floor. I’m just saying.

Despite all her bitching, totally cried today in happiness that the black dude won—and knows that that seeming contradiction is what makes her a real American.

 

blah blah god is dead blah blah January 18, 2009

Filed under: i heart atheists — lagusta @ 1:53 am

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As a continuation of the awesome godfight I provoked recently, I am going to copy and paste an IM exchange a pal and I had while we were both goofing off from our separate work/housecleaning tasks by reading this thread:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/homesteadingchristians/message/5530 —which I will merely copy and not make into a link because, honestly, I am tired of godpeeps and their comments.

It’s a pretty silly exchange, and before you call me infantile, here’s the deal: it’s such a small simple thing, the thing of not believing in god. It’s so infinitesimally small compared with everything else in the world, all the real issues like people not having enough to eat and our tax dollars buying Israeli guns that are killing kids in Gaza. Those are things that matter. Believing in god shouldn’t matter at all. It’s just a fairytale, it’s just so silly—we should have evolved past it ages ago. So it’s fine to make fun of it and be childish. I’m so beyond it that I can’t do anything but laugh about it when I see people who still care about it, instead of caring about what matters.

Thus:
Me: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/homesteadingchristians/message/5530
fucking awesome
the mystery of how the jesus crew found me blog is solved: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/homesteadingchristians/message/5605

J: “atheist group” wow.
i love that these people are going to your site, awesome.

pretty hilarious.
oh MAN the house is SO clean!!

Me: Yay for clean house! I’m getting tons of work done, despite also spying on my blog readers.
everything is all coming together.
do you think it’s because i have people praying for me that today is going so well in the kitchen?
J: It must be.
the house smells fucking jesus awesome so that must help too.

Me: totes

thanks jesus!

ok, back to work, my heathen love.

J: btw, you’ve got to post about about their blog talking about your blog!

now you’re a pagan

oh–there will be a head of coals poured on your head!!

Me: they call me a pagan?
cool, I’ll take it. I loves the pagans.

J: this shit just gets better
“Just stand tall in the Lord, let your light shine, and love her…it will pile heaping coals on her head. “

Me: HEAPING!!

J: HEAPS!!!

Me: OH MY GOSH!!!

J: and you have to see the websites these people run, oh WOW

Me: ¨loving¨me is what will pile the coals?

J: http://scriptures.cc/3752/
that’s the coal guy

“Hey, some of my best friends are atheist.  In fact, you know one of the ones that WAS an atheist when I met her. Fortunately, that’s not the case today. “

phew, fortunately, god forbid!

“By the way, I left him a comment”

Me: oh man! Names that end with an A are feminine, GRRRR!!!

oh my oh my this site is amazing!!! [ http://scriptures.cc/3752/]

christian pyramid scheme??

oy vey!!

J: “Well, I think we should really keep this person in prayer. But for the grace of God, there go I. In fact, 20 some odd years ago, that WAS me. “

everyone’s praying for you! i’d post a little message asking them to stop!

or at least pronounce your name right when they do

Me: Whilst cooking, I’m watching a documentary about Sacco and Vanzetti that is all about…well, how people get put to death because other people are close-minded.
J: “Now we should band together in prayer for this person and her followerers”

your heathen followers

Me: I think now I’m just going to post about how all this good stuff has been coming my way since they started praying for me: orgies and stuff like that

MY FOLLOWERS!!!

J: ugh, that movie sounds crazy but it’s so awfully true.

Me: Sacco was so nice to kittens!

J: “Hopefully, it won’t be peppered with such foul language. I imagine it will be…I need to look up that quote concerning cussing…”
Me: …but they sentenced him to death because he was an anarchist.

J: oh boy.
Me: oh yes!!! fuck yea, bring it on!
I SHALL PEPPER

J: you’re a chef after all

Me: totes.

Let freedom ring, I say. That´s what kills me about these people. I just want freedom, truly!
They pretend to want freedom but really want everyone to be the same.

My new truffles slogan, courtesy Mr. Christian Pyramid Scheme: “MOST IMPORTANT: Order Products you are already using from us rather than from a secular company that may be using their profits  to support ungodly principles. Think About It!”

Think About It!!!
Jacob: this is an odd one, weird on so many levels:
“We talk about those with whom we have relationships, our parents, our spouses, our kids…. why not talk about our Lord? Atheists should be no more offended at that than the childless are when we talk about our children. Would you be apologizing about talking about your children? Or about talking about your husband to a single woman? Then do not apologize about mentioning our Lord to someone who does not have a relationship with Him.”
Me:

W
O
W
for the record, all those things offend me! [Note to friends of mine with cute kids---not really!]
this thread goes on for forever!
J: “Someone has obviously rammed religion down her neck, why stir that up again by proclaiming an apology is not deserved. Her only sin is being lost and we all were at one time…..”

now they’re ganging up on each other for almost apologizing for their faith and everyone is saying don’t!
crazies!!
Me: wow, my parents and grandparents are all atheists!!
except for my one grandmother, but we get along! Religion has never rammed me!
infighting, oooh yes!
J: “Yep….. We are all friends… I was thinking about doing very ugly things to her but then I had to repent.. I think everyone is wounded like I have been so I have a tendancy to stick up for angry people as I have been one for many years”

i am so glad she repented.

Me: man, who the fuck says shit like this?
I don’t even think of “doing ugly things” to people like Cheney!
I just hope he will fall off a cliff, which is not exactly the same thing.
J: so long as you don’t push him

Me: on that bizarre scriptures page ponzi scheme thingie, one of their page titles is “TESTIMONIES”

J: the sad thing is that the Katrina person you originally talked about is actually the sanest of the group.

all about the testicle money!

Me: please peep the pic of this “master stylist”

http://www.scriptures.cc/cgi-bin/d.cgi/3752/founder.htm

J: yeah, that guy is incredible. if he was working in williamsburg to do retro styling then I’d believe it!
Me: oh, poor katrina. i think of all these christian housewifey ladies trying to do the right thing, and just not being happy with their lives but not knowing an alternative, or what real life is as you and i know it.

it kinda breaks my heart. They need good old 1970s Betty Friedan-style feminism.

As does master stylist, who, yes, would make tons of money in williamsburg!!!

J: yeah, they talk about god giving them patience with their kid and their husbands
they just want to feel part of a group

Me: Aww.

I bet they all wear Crocs though.

The very best part of that weird scriptures scheme page [ http://scriptures.cc/3752/] is that you also get:  “FREE Conference Calls” when you buy the weird package thingie…

I’m sure that’s going to make you sign up in a second, because i know how you loves the conf. calls!

J: hm, tempting…which is against the lord of course
Me: one of the testicle-monials:
“By the way, I have been working with an employee of mine from a spiritual standpoint. She had a great AHA! experience listening to your Monthly Teaching Tapes on Salvation. Her husband was born a Jew but was not brought up “religiously” (I happen to think of this as a plus). He is beginning to understand the concept of salvation and is now excited to attend church and is open to reading materials I pass along. Pray for these folks”
i love how ¨religiously¨is in quotes, because everyone knows that Jews can’t really be ¨religious.”

J: it always comes back to jew bashing!

 

 
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