resistance is fertile

living underground in the real world

three perspectives on vegans dining at nonvegan restaurants August 29, 2009

Here’s a question I’ve been thinking about a lot:

Vegans: do you make it a point to go only to vegan and veggie restaurants? I’d like to know. Here are my thoughts on it, as well as my (probably incorrect) interpretations of those of the two vegans I’m closest to: my moms & my sweetheart.

My thoughts:

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The number of photos I have of me looking bizarre while eating is truly amazing. Also, I’d really like someone to explain why I’m wearing two sweaters in L.A. Also what’s happening with my bosoms.

  • If I ever eat another shittyass veggie burger, or even a mediocre veggie burger, or even a pretty good veggie burger, I am going to die.
  • If I see another menu with a mediocre tempeh reuben/seitan fajita dish/portobello sandwich/cole slaw with veganaise mayo (sigh)/terrifying soy buffalo wings/whitey burritos/underflavored whitey tacos/stir-fries (oh. god.)/and the hummus/and the bland chili/horrifyingly bland peanut noodles/sad sad sad uncrispy salads with truck lettuce and sad sad sad gloppy dressings, etc. etc, I. Will. Die.
  • [insert long cheffy snobbish rant here about how I make my own tempeh and can't possibly be expected to eat that bitter shit in regular tempeh reubens and would never own a restaurant because then you have to make what people want to order instead of vice versa, which is how my weirdo business works because I'm such a diva.]
  • Why do we go to these places, when we could go to, say, an actual Mexican place run by actual Mexicans who actually know how to cook and can make us actual Mexican food that is 1,000 times better? I do not have even one more inch of stomach space for a burrito as big as my head stuffed with iceberg lettuce and crunchy beans made by…well, I was just about to write the most horrifying sentence about trustafarian hippie vegans, but why be so mean? Trustafarian hippie vegans could make this non-trustafarian hippie-hating long-time vegan a good meal, I will admit that it is possible. I will merely say that they so rarely do and will not slander those who are, sigh, basically my people.

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  • By “these places,” I am specifically talking about places like: Chicago Diner in Chicago (where last night I had a truly dreadful dish called “Oaxacan Ravioli” whereby I must give the cooks points for trying, but whose execution was mindblowingly horrid (here’s a tip: ravioli should not be so “al dente” [i.e., undercooked] as to CRUNCH when you bite into it, unless it is the famous St. Louis-style “toasted ravioli,” which this most assuredly was not); Kate’s Joint and Quantum Leap and Caravan of Dreams and bunches more in NYC; one zillion crap vegan Thai places in LA with plasticky soy protein dishes; this one place I went to in Boston last year I can’t remember the name of (it was upstairs, and Asian, and horrrrrid); and I’m sure you can think of more.
  • The other thing is that when you go to nonvegan places & order their vegan dishes, you show them that there is a market for vegan things, and that’s good, right?
  • OK, I’ll admit it: Chicago Diner has the best vegan strawberry milkshakes ever.

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Really. Amazing.

My sweetheart’s thoughts:

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The number of photos I have of my sweetheart eating something sugary is truly amazing.

  • YUM! Seitan!
  • Ooh, terrifying soy buffalo wings!!
  • I’ve been on tour for weeks and am subsisting on hummus and kombucha from our rider and the last thing I want to do on the half hour I have before I have to rush back to the venue is worry that the chilaquiles from the awesome-looking taco truck on the corner have secret cheese in them. Plus, I can trade tickets to the show tonight to the cool vegans at this place in exchange for backstage doughnuts! Doughnuts!!!!!

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“Dudes! I got the doughnuts!”

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  • I wonder if Lagusta could FedEx some peanut butter cups to the next hotel? I’m getting a little low.
  • Oh my god Chicago Diner has the best vegan cookies & cream milkshakes ever. I hope they use real Oreos. Wow, I’m so happy that Oreos are vegan these days. No more Hydrox for me! Oh boy. I’m going to get some Oreos on my way back to the venue.
  • Oreos!!!!!

My mom’s thoughts:

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OK, I need to work on my collection of mom-eating photos.

  • Chicago Diner is SO AWESOME. I love it SO MUCH. They always donate to whatever animal rights campaigns we’re working on, and they support all the groups I’m in as much as they can. Everyone is so nice and cute, and when Lagusta’s sweetheart is in town we go and he loves the milkshakes so much.
  • Hmm, what’s this in my soup? A door hinge? Oh my. The rest of the soup is pretty tasty though!*
  • Look at that cute dog!
  • One reason I love going to vegan restaurants is to support other vegans, and vegan businesses. Why worry about what’s in the food at nonvegan places when you can have peace of mind at all-vegan places?

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This ice cream has Oreos in it!!!!!

What are your thoughts?

*TRUE STORY.

 

I love Tcho Chocolate, part two August 28, 2009

Oh, lovelies!

You already know of my deep hardcore love for Tcho chocolate. I have switched to it from the behemoth Callebaut, and I couldn’t be happier. Not only have all my bitchyass procurement problems been solved, but in general Tcho just 100%  lives up to my wildest expectations of what a chocolate company could be.

One little thing had been niggling at me, however, and last week it finally got resolved. Their policy on slavery, as I’ve mentioned trillions of times, is sterling (not Roger Sterling though, thank god! Hey, I made a Mad Men joke!). But it took me a little time to get some info from them on their environmental practices—how are their beans grown, are they sprayed, etc etc.* The fact that it took time wasn’t anyone’s fault, it was just a long, long game of phone tag with John Kehoe, their Director of Sourcing & Farmer Relations.

We finally found time to talk, all my concerns were addressed, and I’m just floating on a cloud.

OK. Let me say first of all that John Kehoe is basically my new BFF and I am basically madly in love with him. This dude is a Resistance is Fertile sort of guy, for sure.

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Do you think he likes me too?

When our mutually hectic schedules finally allowed a sliver of time to talk, he was driving up from San Francisco toward Oregon for the weekend and we talked for an hour or so, calling each other back maybe 20 times because he kept losing service as he drove up the coast. We made it work, because we are BFFs and cool like that.

I wanted to have the talk with him that I have with all my farmer suppliers for my business: I so understand that you’re not certified organic. I have tons of qualms with the USDA-run crap organic certification program (do a search on “organic” on this here blog to read all about my qualms) and completely get that farming practices are just more complicated these days than one little word can explain. So let’s talk about how you farm—do you farm organically but are not certified, do you do Integrated Pest Management, are you Certified Naturally Grown, biodynamic, veganic, permaculturey? Do you use cold frames, solar-powered greenhouses, biodiesel tractors? Do you keep and kill animals? Are your workers paid well? Where do they live and where are they from and what are their opportunities for advancement on your farm?

Let’s get into it.

So we talked about where Tcho chocolate beans are grown and how they are grown and who grows them and how they farm and why and the craziness of certification processes and poverty and idealism and how to make things better while also making a good product and I told him my little secret: Most organic chocolate stinks. And he agreed. And I mentioned Dagoba and all the rest and he talked about how hard Tcho was working to change the perception of truly ethical chocolate through really high standards.

I learned a lot. Though their chocolate isn’t organic, they take many steps to ensure that it is grown in as eco-friendly ways as possible. As well, they are committed to working with smaller farmers as a way to support growing businesses in developing countries** and John gave me several examples of awesome programs they are involved in that I very unfortunately didn’t take good notes on that work to assist small farmers in Africa and other places where their chocolate is grown.

In general, John was insanely knowledgeable about the politics involved in the chocolate industry and reassured me completely that Tcho is the company I want to be with. I said that I was so honored that he was taking so much time to talk to me when I am the tiniest chocolate maker in the universe, and he said that Tcho loves small businesses and that Lagusta’s Luscious is totally the sort of company they want to work with.

A love fest, that’s what it was, I tell ya.

And! In an earlier phone message when I was outlining what I wanted to chat about once we finally made it work, I mentioned this weird little thing: their TchoPro, the chocolate I use, is labeled “conventional.” I understand that this is to distinguish it from their other types of chocolate (“fruity,” “floral,” “citrus,” etc. These designations don’t mean that the chocolate contains fruit, flowers, or citrus, but that the beans themselves contribute those flavors. Neat, huh?) and to show that the Pro line is an all-purpose chocolate, but to me the word “conventional” means “not organic” and, trying so hard as I do to buy as much organic as I can, it always jars me. When John and I talked, he said that he took this offhand remark to a meeting and after a good discussion they decided to rename the chocolate! How rad is that?

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Then! When I got home form a whirlwind trip to Chicago, a package was waiting for me from my new boyfriend John with a very exciting new treat he had mentioned on the phone: beta test samples of the brand new Tcho certified organic chocolate! I knew a certified organic Tcho was coming, but I didn’t think it was this close. I’m waiting for my supertaster sweetheart to come home before we taste, but I’m obviously anticipating making it my house chocolate.

(Also, said sweetheart sometimes beta tests various sound engineery and tour managery programs [right now he is swooning over this thing called Master Tour Database and though this is a major digression, I have to say that I'm sort of in awe of it too. It even has sections for important notes like "this venue has a great runner who will bring you good vegan pizza for the after show meal" and my systems-loving self thrills to see it every time I look over his shoulder] and I’m excited to be a beta tester for something as awesome as chocolate).

Oh, Tcho. I see us going steady for a long long time.

(Know what else is cool about Tcho? They don’t make any weak-ass cow tit chocolate! Hooray for 100% dark chocolate companies!)

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*Just a warning: there aren’t great specifics here, dearest blogreaders, and I’m sorry for that. While I love this here blog, I really resist the idea that I need to put all this extra stress on myself to be some sort of journalist and take detailed notes on my life so I can report everything interesting here in the most accurate way. The conversation I’m lazily reporting reassured me about their growing practices and I want to report my excitement about said reassurance here, that’s all.

**I know “developing countries” isn’t the most p.c. term (because it implies that development is always the goal), but I can’t think of what else to say. “Third-world” isn’t right either. It’s like how I hate saying that I only want to go to “ethnic” restaurants, but I don’t have a better way to get across my point that if my mother drags me to another bland vegan restaurant run by white people I will scream (I just spent a few days with my [vegan] mom, who believes that—wait! This is a great topic for another post I will get to soon).

 

Monday Miscellany! August 24, 2009

Filed under: Monday Miscellany — lagusta @ 5:03 pm

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via TBTL via HuffPo, via I can’t stop laughing at this picture, what is wrong with me?

Oh Thom! Click here and read the “for more information, click here” and fall in love with Thom Yorke for the twenty millionth time since you were 15. (My crush on Thom Yorke is a teenager, how can that be?)

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Everyone and their uncle has sent me this link, and yeah, it’s just as horrid as we’ve come to expect from PETA. (Thanks to everyone and their uncle).

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Hudson Valley Vegan blog, what up what up! Vegans in the HV!!

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Buy a/r-friendly wine!

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I so loathe all the little “libertarian” kiddos in my college town who love pot and Ron Paul and are otherwise totes uninformed about true libertarianism–read this and weep, kids: libertarian is MY term! Stop stealing it! (Thanks to Deric for the link)

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The Hudson Valley Seed Library, run by adorable loves of mine Ken & Doug, made these cute Blight Bites t-shirts!

 

hot pink nesting doll lovers against useless death and suffering August 19, 2009

Filed under: cooking is vegan (of course),self-titled — lagusta @ 2:06 pm

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This is going to be a bitchy, annoying post, so I’m going to make it go down a little easier with photos of the most odd, charming place I think I’ve ever been to: a hot pink world 1/2 hour from my house aptly and simply named “Nesting Dolls.” (Or, more accurately, “NESTING…………dolls.”)

Guess what it is?

A store that sells nothing but nesting dolls.

It’s awesomeness is going to blow your mind (though my ultimate hero James Howard Kunstler, [he of the must read The Long Emergency] hates it, but I pretty much completely disagree, these days anyway, with his views on architecture, so whatevs.)

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OK, so: I’ve got a little irksome nag that I have to vent about:

It’s the oldest irksome nag in the world to a vegan, and it’s been so discussed and played out that I feel silly bringing it up, but oh well.

So, most of my true friends are vegetarians and vegans. I mean, how could they not be, right?

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That is the question.

Lately for whatever reason I’ve been rubbing up against nonvegans of all kinds (that sounded sort of dirty, didn’t it? I’m going to keep it.), and it means that for the millionth time I have to work out my feelings about how best to handle that most annoying and indelicate of situations: eating in restaurants with flesh-eaters.

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I’m not worried about how to externally handle it—I think I’m pretty graceful, in truth. Only with my true BFFs do I dare to hate on them for ordering nonvegan food. With everyone else I am the fucking picture of the nonviolent, politically correct, serene-in-my-choices, live-and-let-live vegan that I believe vegans should be when forced to eat meals with flesh eaters. Killing them with kindness is my general policy. (Are you getting the meat-eating ironies I am injecting into these sentences, people??)

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My goal: politely ignoring the fact that my dining companions are engaging in an act which I find so intensely morally inconceivable as to be literally stomach-turning.

Lately it’s been difficult, again, not actually physically at the restaurant, but in my heart. Not because I know assholey non-vegans—that would be easier. Assholey non-vegans can so easily and cuttingly be dealt with: assholes always want to fight, and I’m amazing at fighting and always win, so that’s all well and good.

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No, it’s because I know some sweet, kind, intelligent and generally awesome non-vegans. They know not what they do, I tell ya. At least…that’s what I have to believe.

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Here’s my take on the whole thing:

Unless explicitly asked, I never talk about veganism, and I’m even moving away from introducing myself as a vegan chef (I just tell people I make vulvas.). My strategy is to change minds through impeccable example. It works all the time. It takes years, but it works, and none of my unintentional converts have ever converted back. (On the other hand, all the high school and early college friends I pretty much forced to be vegan by screaming at them are a) not friends with me anymore and b) meat-eaters.)

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Most of my friends who aren’t vegan are those (take a deep breath, O vegans, because there is a trigger warning coming right at you:) “vegetarian-but-I-eat-fish” people.

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I won’t even pretend to understand it. I know like five good friends who rarely eat eggs and cow dairy or dead cows or pigs or even chickens, but who will slurp up plates of oysters and salmon mousses and whatever the fuck else people make out of fish (I’m going to link to my essay on fish every single time I have to use the word, OK?) with no compunctions. They have iPhone apps that tell them what fish are, like, not going to instantly cause total extinction of that particular fish species, and they belong to a CSA and love going out to good restaurants, and it all just blows my mind.

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Of course, being in the Slow Foodie sort of circle I run in I also know oodles of those nose-to-tail eaters who so delight in talking about the pig’s feet they had for lunch, and this depresses me in that special way I call, with a special sigh, “Fucking Nourishing Fucking Traditions,”* because of the book that talked a whole socioeconomic demographic (white, Brooklyny, annoying) out of being vegan.

Related to this are the farmers. When I’m being the farmer-groupie that I am in my professional life, I constantly run into Slow Food-esque nouveau farmers whose delight in using all parts of their pigs, and their CSA customers’ delight in sharing those pig parts, routinely hurts my heart so horribly that it’s hard to buy my hundreds of pounds of produce from them (which is why I buy veganic produce whenever I can).

I know that by not participating in the factory farm system that they are doing good, but after we get past those issues, we bump into another one: these people, these farmers whose livelihoods I so cherish and respect and support, have no problem uselessly killing beings that do not deserve, in any way, to die.

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It’s rough.

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But back to dinner with pals.

Here’s what I wish I could say to those friends of mine:

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“Dearest friends of mine! You are so dear! I’m so happy we are pals! And I would never say that you couldn’t order whatever you want when we go out to dinner, that would be just rude. But I have such deep-down bedrock ethical issues with your meal right now that it’s sort of harshing my mellow in a really major way. If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know** is that sometimes it’s sort of hard for me to keep driving when I see roadkill on the road. I’ve got a tender heart, OK? And I like animals so much more than people, which makes everything difficult in this world of ours. So, dearest friends, how do I be OK with your animal-eating ways? I mean, I don’t want to be OK with it. But I want to have a good time tonight. What to do?

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“What? What’s that? Fish?

“Oh.

“Well, since we’re talking about it, you want to hear my thing on fish?

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“Sigh. I hate this.

“I’m becoming sort of didactic and overly moral for a fun dinner out, but oh well. Now that it’s started I won’t be able to stop, so I apologize in advance.

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Fish. Personally (and by “personally” I mean: everyone in the whole world should feel exactly the same way I do), I think eating fish is worse than eating “meat.” Because you get what, like 100 hamburgers out of one cow, plus leather shoes and whatnot? See, that whole fish you’re eating right now is a whole entire being, a being that lived in agony***  and suffocated to death for no reason other than so you can eat it, even though you didn’t need to eat it. My cycling book right now is this history of vegetarianism, and it’s sort of boring actually (T. Colin Campbell liked it a lot though [scroll down to read his review], so I’m sticking with it), but it’s interesting as a reminder that there have been vegetarians and, lo!, vegans, since, like, um, the dawn of time. That whole “we need meat to survive” argument just doesn’t hold water. But of course you knew that. You’re my smart awesome friend!

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So I don’t get why you eat fish. Maybe you believe that it’s better on the environment [this is an argument so ridic I will not stoop to refute it, though my fish essay does!]. Maybe you believe that cows are somehow higher beings than fish. This just irks me.”

(deep breaths at this point will not stop what is coming)

“And now we’re going to start talking about killing flies or something and someone at the table is going to say something like, “well, you just do what you can do, la di da la la la” and my face is going to get red and I’m going to say that YOU CAN NOT EAT FISH, THAT’S SOMETHING YOU CAN DO” and I might use a swear word.

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And.

This is why I’m writing this blog post, so that doesn’t happen.

Because I want to be sweet to my sweet friends, but darlings,

you’re fucking killing me.

OK?

Phew, I’m so glad we had that little talk.

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*While I agree with some of its points, blah blah, oh look, I already wrote about it in this post that makes everyone so very angry!

**When I get nervous I start quoting Salinger, what can I say?

***Do some research on fish farms before you start talking crap about how sweet fishies are just swimming around all happy until they get a hook to the mouth, OK?

 

“…that inward eye / Which is the bliss of solitude” August 16, 2009

Filed under: self-titled — lagusta @ 1:33 am

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It’s 11 PM on Saturday night, and this is what I’ve got:

  • All the lights off in the entire house except the rice paper lamp over my head in my pink office
  • Cows making their nighttime rumbling moos far away across the street
  • A million trillion buzzing creatures outside, frogs in the stream across the way and all manner of cicadas and summery winged beings doing their summery thing
  • A very hot, very shedding black cat dancing around wanting to sit on the computer keyboard
  • Ten drippingly ripe peaches in the fridge ready for me anytime, anywhere, as long as there are many napkins also present
  • Watermelons ripening at the farm across the street, having been promised to me by my farmer today with a knowing twinkle in his eye.
  • Wild blueberries traded for chocolates in the freezer, waiting to be used as ice cubes
  • A teeny vodka gimlet made with basil simple syrup and plum-infused vodka
  • Two hours before I have to sleep in order to be fresh to conquer my two hardest cooking days of the week
  • And after that, the sweet reward of my sweetheart home from endless, endless touring.

All of this is good.

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Starting on Monday I will have everything I love most in the whole entire world: fruit, summertime, and Jacob being home.

Jacob being home, however, means that these pleasantly weird, ultrahot, exquisitely internally-focused days I’ve been having will come to an end.

“Pleasantly weird” is the best way I can describe my feeling about summertime. I love summer with a clutchy, obsessive love, but its heat reminds me of my childhood, which means my joy at being able to wear dresses and eat fruit is tempered by “that inward eye,” and my emotions are a weird mix of intense gratitude (because my childhood is over), pride (at having survived it), and, to put my full extreme summertime dorkiness on full display, burning and sometimes overwhelming happiness at being alive. (See, commenter #10, I told you everything would balance out!)

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Hey, I haven’t put any annoyingly navel-gazing outfit pictures on the blog in a while! I bought this dress in North Carolina, shortened it (hello, headband!) and took it in in, um, a key area, all by myself! (Why are there dresses behind me? Because my closet broke, OK?)

Is it possible for someone to be manic depressive, but only in a seasonal way? Summertime pretty much kills me with its amazingness every year—but, having grown up in a place without winter, I’m smart enough to know that true summertime joy is a pleasure best experienced when one knows its opposite.

At any rate, some of this summery intensity is closely related to solitude, and a part of it will come to an end when Jacob gets home. This is not a bad thing, not at all, but it feels right to try to capture my cloistered summery feelings while he is still off on the tourbus.

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My hair needed something that day…

Being with him in the summertime means dinner out on the patio with sake, house projects, NYC trips, berry picking, hiking, bike riding—none of which I tend to do on my own (even, tragically, eating dinner), as well as several temperature-related negotiations. Most notably: moderating the punishing heat I seem to enjoy trapping inside the house. Jacob being home also means that I will notice that I like weird things about summertime, things that, when one is alone, one never really thinks about because they are just second nature but that cause many sideways glances to be directed at one when one lives with someone who maybe doesn’t share ones preferences…um…I’m trapped here in an overly clause-y sentence involving passive voice and way too many words, eek!

Phew. Let’s blame that train wreck on the gimlet, OK?

Things I Like About Summertime That I Don’t Think Anyone is Supposed to Like

  • Still air. Everyone else in my life loves moving air. My friend Than is so obsessed with fresh air that we call him a FAN: Fresh Air Nut. I love the absolute quiet that comes from open windows and no distracting fans with their annoying oscillations. Related:
  • Hot bedrooms. I will concede that yes, I am maybe the only person in the universe who still sleeps with a down comforter (vegan police!! It’s a pre-vegan comforter from Jacob’s childhood!) in August, and when Jacob surreptitiously (which, for reals, I just spelled “syrupticiously”) switches to just a top sheet and light blanket I will act OK with it. Inevitably, one night I will creep into the linen closet and get the heavy comforter out, and when I wake up sweaty and light-headed, my body basically a microwaved burrito, Jacob staring at me as if I am insane, I won’t know what to say. I like sleeping in a very hot room, OK? I suspect it’s because of the fever dreams it gives me, and I also suspect that this is so strange that I shouldn’t be confessing it to the internet. Hot weather dreams are most awesome, though, can we agree on that?
  • Fecundity. Rotting fruit, the compost with its layer of fruit flies, the sticky smell of overripe everything. It speaks to me of abundance, security, and possibility.
  • I even love my stinky armpits after sweating all day, I even love the bathroom after a shower when it’s so humid that you instantly feel like you need another shower (because I of course don’t turn on the helpful overhead fan), I even love it when I cut my feet from walking around barefoot so much, I even love it when the power goes out because of lightening storms, I even love it when you get in the car and it’s so closed in and hot you feel faint.

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All better!

Of course, I love the uncompromised wonderfulnesses of summer too: swimming in lakes (well, lakes are always too cold, but I do love reading books in a bathing suit next to a lake) and wearing almost nothing and the windows down in a car and your special summer song playing just a little too loudly (right now it’s “Satellite Skin” by Modest Mouse. I’m humiliatingly obsessed with this song, and am not above air drumming to it at traffic lights.). Sandals and tan lines and ice cubes and bare legs and sunglasses and sitting on stoops drinking beers.

Well, I don’t think I have ever sat on a stoop and drank beer, but when I drive home from work on Fridays and Saturdays I see kids doing just that. The collegey girls in their Friday and Saturday summertime getups fascinate me and everyone just looks so happy and alive, and, like the rest of summer living, it’s trite but but it’s so free and easy and fun that it doesn’t even matter.

I just love it, all of it, unedited and all of a piece. Perfection.

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Mike Nielson for New Paltz Highway Superintendent August 14, 2009

Filed under: new paltz,politics — lagusta @ 12:56 pm

I just read the questionnaire he submitted to the Green Party asking for our support, and I’m sold. He really needs to beat Phil Johnson, a business-as-usual incumbent without an environmentalist bone in his body.

Read the questionnaire here, then check out his website, then join me in working on his campaign!

 

Mad Men randoms August 14, 2009

Part four in a four-part series. Part One is here, Part Two is here, and Part Three is here!

To wrap up, here are random and disjointed thoughts about other characters and themes:

I have a few quickie points about Midge, Don’s quote unquote bohemian mistress from season one.

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What Mad Men constantly evokes for me is all that isn’t being shown—the wildnesses on the edge of 1960s society. The free women, the real artists. Not the false dichotomy between society women and faux-liberated beatnik gamines, but the true radicals, of which there were plenty even before the “second wave” of feminism in the late 1960s. I want to watch a show about that world!

It seems that Midge is supposed to represent that world, but, sadly, I’d put her squarely into the faux-liberated beatnik gamine category.

Her “free-spiritedness” is largely exemplified by the fact that instead of being kept by one man, she sleeps with and accepts presents from many. I can’t decide if the writers truly think she is freewheeling, or if, like practically everyone else, she is living in a cage of her own making, albeit one with yet more invisible bars.

I’m not very impressed by her cheesy declarations of independence and token rejections of the bourgeois system: “You know the rules,” she tells Don. “I don’t make plans, and I don’t make breakfast.” Which doesn’t mean that she isn’t always ready for missionary sex with whatever man comes along.

Still though, I love all the beatnicky scenes, but mostly because they are so cringey and clichéd. Of course they didn’t seem clichéd at the time, but the retrospective treatment of that world is just hilarious, is it not? How great was that hep cat girl’s poem about making love to Fidel Castro with Nikita Kruschev watching, and how spot-on was it when a hipster dude responded with “take off your shirt!” Oh, it was just the most perfect exemplification of the sexual politics of 1960s bohemian culture.

Delicious.

Horrid.

The classic Mad Men mixture!

OK, and finally, our girl, Peggy.

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Peter: “It’s so easy for you.”
Peggy: “It’s not easy for anyone.”

It’s pretty obvious, but Peggy is the woman we’re supposed to like, root for, and, if you’re me, see yourself in. She’s the only one you feel will triumph in the end. In six months or a year or so, she will own that office. She bravely gives up the baby she secretly had with Misogynist-in-Chief Peter to focus on her career (Throughout most of the second season until she finally divulges the secret to Peter, Don is the only one in the office who knows her secret, and tells her: “Listen. This never happened. It will shock you how much it never happened.”).

Throughout the first two seasons, Peggy begins to learn that, like Joan, she must play the game in order to win. In season two, episode six, “Maidenform,” when she dresses up to go to the strip club we see that she is learning how to navigate the boy’s club in a horrible way, the only way open to her at the time. On the other hand and unlike Joan, we get the sense that soon she will be whatever the fuck she wants and pulling in all the big accounts. The heartwarming message: Smart girls win!

Um…what else? Some random points:

  • There’s some serious Sexual Politics of Meat happening in Peter’s speech about hunting in Season One, Episode 7, no? If I had the stamina, I would point it all out, but perhaps instead I’ll just point out:
  • DSCF6232
  • And that pretty much says it all.
  • Speaking of ickiness: The not-so-sexy junior executives. The older guys are the sexy ones in this drama, not the young things. Yet, amazingly, it doesn’t work the other way: it is primarily the younger women who are the sex kittens and bombshells. This is not exactly a new or surprising dynamic, but I point it out only to show how profoundly crude and horrid the junior execs are. As Kinsey says in the pilot episode: “You’ve got to let them know what kind of guy you are, so they’ll know what kind of girl to be.” The process of becoming an adult male in the Mad Men universe is the process of couching your intense misogyny in softer words and learning discretion, which all of the older executives understand.
  • Some of the older men are so discreet that they do things like, for example, throw their dogs into the midtown Manhattan street to fend for themselves so they do not have to witness their drunken binges (season two, episode six).
  • Hey, what do you peeps think is the significance of the scene when Don writes the real Mrs. Draper’s address on the last page of The Sound and the Fury, which his lover has described as “the sex scenes are good”? I can’t remember The Sound and the Fury, but I’m sure it means something.

So, that’s about all I’ve got for now. We’ve got our nihilistic men and our yearning, feminism-needing women, and I’m just dying for season three to see how it all plays out.

The central question Mad Men leaves me with is (and the way I think it translates to our lives today):

Are we more free than our parents and grandparents were? Are we living more honest and real lives now, after the second wave of feminism and the tumult of the late 1960s and now that we’re so postmodern and self-aware?

Some of us are, and some aren’t, of course. But it does seem to me that even those of us living dreadful, dishonest and fake lives now at least have more of an option to be free. Opportunity is the buzzword of the oughts.

Deprived of beautifully made dresses and furniture, what will we do with our golden opportunities, our one chance to live beautifully and freely?

 

So Much Woman: Mad Men’s Betty and Joan August 12, 2009

Part Three in my four-part series all about MM! Part One is here, and Part Two is here.

Please note: spoilers abound!

Let’s talk about Betty, our pre-Feminine Mystique Betty Friedan (Google it, kiddos).

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Hot Stud Potential-but-Thwarted Young Lover: “You’re so profoundly sad.”
Betty: “You’re wrong….I’m grateful.”

Oh, Bets.
I know we are supposed to have trouble watching her, but she makes me feel so nervous I practically get a stomach cramp every time she comes on screen. I’ve decided there are three reasons for this:

  • I have a personal issue where I have trouble respecting women who truly want, more than anything, the wife-&-mother life (and let’s be clear: feminism or no, this is what Betty wants with her entire heart, no matter how empty she knows it to be. She might want to be a part-time model as well, but I see that as a way to reaffirm her place in the society of perfect housewives: being a model means you have won the beauty battle.).
  • I never have much sympathy for characters stuck in their time periods. The story of women during her time period is a much-told one, and an important one, but I still want her to transcend her situation, you know?
  • Related: January Jones seems to always be overacting by just a fraction—which might be perfect for the character since she seems always to be acting, badly, in the role of a happy white heterosexual housewife. (Her much vaunted “you look just like Grace Kelly” looks aren’t quite my style, either, sorry!)
  • And, primarily, her character breaks my heart because she is just the most devastating character maybe ever to be portrayed on television since the beginning of time.

So it guess it makes sense that she makes me feel so nervous and sad.

It seems that she is growing up throughout the show, but her coming into adulthood is not a victory exactly. She is a sweet, vapid person who wants a traditional life and is realizing that the hard world she lives in will not give that to her. Thus, she slowly learns to play the rules of the game.

Betty and Don are our two primary protagonists (though I’d argue forcefully that Peggy—Oh, I’m biting my lip with anticipation until I can start rambling about my deep, deep love for Peggy! On, PEGGY!—is the true hero of the show), and as such the embody my two theses about the show: Don is our Chief Executive Nihilist, and Betty is our Chief Heart, and needs feminism more than anyone else. Betty has feelings; Don has actions.

They are the stereotypical 1950s (I should say here that when I say 1950s I mean the period roughly from 1950-1963, because I mark the end of the 1950s with when the Beatles came to the US. Seasons One and Two of Mad Men take place in 1960-1962, I believe) couple to a dizzying degree: the woman has emotions, children, and dresses, and the man makes money, drinks liquor, cheats on his wife, and is unable to feel a thing. Again, it would be passé and cliché if it wasn’t portrayed with such a heartbreaking and unsparing attention to what, exactly, this means.

It would also be unbearable if the show were only about them. Because we have a half-dozen or so other well-developed characters, their somewhat trite characters don’t get stale.

Joan.

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“She’s so much woman”

Joan.
Joan.
Joan.
Joan.
First, let’s just look at her ass, OK?

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As I said, I’m not the most avid TV watcher, but I know of no other zaftig woman who is an overt sex symbol other than Joan. Am I right?

Let us be clear: Joan’s ass is not here to titillate us. It is here to remind us of several things:

  • WTF with women being so skinny on TV these days and how fucking gorgeous is Christina Hendricks?
  • Joan’s entire purpose in life is to use her sex appeal to get what she needs in order to survive.
  • How awesome are Joan’s clothes, I mean, really?

So: Joan.

Joan is the who understands, with absolute, brilliant certainly, the world she lives in, and she has made the decision to win at the horrid game of life without changing any of the rules.

Joan can never question the misogynist nature of her universe (oh, Mad Men writers! Prove me wrong!), she can only strive to rise to the highest paid position any woman in a woman-hating society can achieve: Queen of Whores. She is bought and kept by every man in the office, sometimes quite literally, and she is absolutely aware of this. She very ably wrings every bit of power she can out of this explosively powerful dynamic. There is nothing Joan won’t do to maintain her place on the hierarchy, and can you blame her?

(On the other hand, because of her actual and perceived intense sex appeal and sexual history, she suffers from the hardship of being a girl with a “history,” ultimately culminating in her fiancé raping her in Don’s office in order to reclaim power over her she felt was taken away she dared to climb on top of him during sex ["Where'd you learn that from?"].)

Joan is the exception that proves my thesis: through her absolute adherence to the nihilistic/fascistic (the two would seem to be at opposite ends of the spectrum, but I’d like to throw out the idea that in Mad Men they are almost the same thing—do you feel me? There’s a sort of fascistic adherence to nihilistic meaningless.) system in which she finds herself, she is queen.
She is, at root, a fucking amazing portrayal of women’s false choices in the early 1960s.

Her heart—well, I have no idea.

Well, I have one idea. We see exactly one flash of her heart:

“I’ve never had your job,” Joan tells Peggy when she comes to her for advice about her new responsibilities as a junior copywriter. “I’ve never wanted it. You’re in their country. Learn to speak the language.” This is what she wants us to believe: that she has no knowledge of or interest in the world of men’s work.

But when she spies a job she does want and is good at outside of her office management duties—albeit perhaps the most girlie office job imaginable: reading television scripts to check for marketing opportunities and clashes—and it is taken from her and given to a man, she feels the sting. Her face clouds over for just a second, and that is enough to break our hearts.

When relations end with her longtime office lover, the silver fox Roger Sterling, he moves to the next woman in line, the aptly named and equally (though completely differently) sexy receptionist Jane. Jane/Joan, what’s the difference, in the end? Roger purports to have fallen in love with Jane (who is, of course, at least 20 years his junior), but we know that it is Joan he truly fell in love with, and he will be trying his entire life to transfer his feelings to Jane.

I sort of think of Joan as our canary in the coal mine, the one who shows us just exactly how fucked up the Mad Men universe is. The glee that she gets in Season 2, Episode 10 out of telling Kinsey, her former paramour (as she puts it when showing Peggy around the office for the first time in Season 1, Episode 1: “Hopefully if you follow my lead, you can avoid some of the mistakes I’ve made here.” [Kinsey walks by and leers “Hello Joan.”]. “Like that one.”) that he can’t go on a coveted trip to LA after she has been wounded by the knowledge that he has taken up with a new woman is shocking: When the only thing that makes you feel better is petty sniping and backstabbing, what a horrid world you are in.

Similarly, when her roommate nakedly tells her that she is in love with her, she literally pretends not to hear, and takes her out to pick up older men she forcefully brings back to their apartment. Le sigh.

Joan breaks my heart much harder than Betty, for sure, because Joan is the smartest bitch on the whole show (I’d argue that Peggy is more clever, but not smarter). Betty simpers her way through her days, crumpling and failing and trying to get her hands to work, while Joan gets up every morning, puts on her industrial, backbreaking undergarments (the scene [Season Two, Episode Eight] in which she rubs her shoulders, deeply creased with bra strap lines, almost moves me to tears*) continually steels herself for another day in the piranha cage. She’s up for it, always. No matter what the consequences. I want to kidnap her and make her live with me on a desert island where we read Shulamith Firestone and talk about how to tie a scarf in the absolute most jaunty fashion.

*And the parallel of that scene in Season Two, Episode Six “Maidenform,” where the perfectly anachronistic The Decemberists’ “The Infanta” plays while Betty, Joan, and Peggy get dressed, is probably my favorite in the entire series. The tenderness the show lavishes on them—a tenderness they never show themselves, with the possible exception of Peggy in later episodes—as it unflinchingly depicts the layers of grooming necessary for women at the time just kills me. There is so much more to say about that episode, actually, but my bottle of wine is almost done and I’m losing steam, so why don’t you talk about it in the comments?

 

open government would be nice, wouldn’t it? August 12, 2009

Filed under: new paltz,politics — lagusta @ 4:56 pm

In lieu of a real post about last night’s New Paltz Town Comprehensive Plan Committee meeting, I am just going to copy and paste my half-drunk Facebook updates about it, OK? You’ll get the gist. Brittany and KT and Anya, if you want me to black out your names (sorry to repeat your FB comments to the wider internet, but somehow I don’t think you’ll mind) just let me know.

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I didn’t make up that the meeting was supposed to be at the Community Center, people. I’ve got proof! (Also: “Welcome to Town of New Paltz Community Center”? Would a “the” have killed ya?)

one

two

three

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…and from there we just started talking about bacon and things in beer, so I’ll spare you that discussion.

I’m frustrated.

That’s it.

 

“What you call ‘love,’ men like me invented to sell nylons”: Don Draper and the Nihilistic Sensibility of Mad Men August 12, 2009

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Oh my. Oh, my. Oh…..my. That furrowed brow!

Part Two in my four-part series all about Mad Men! (Read Part One here before you read this).

Hey, please be aware that there are spoilers galore in here. In case you’re not caught up (Mary! Veronica!), you might want to avert your eyes.

That said, let’s get into it!

So, I truly believe that Mad Men is the most feminist show on TV right now, and though I say that without actually owning a TV, I think I Hulu and Netflix enough to know what’s out there, and I’m pretty confident in that statement. Saying that that Mad Men is the most feminist show on TV is not saying much, but it’s saying something, for sure. Right?

The mistake, it seems to me, is thinking that the drinking and smoking and capitalist crap and sexual anxieties the show depicts in are its true point, when in fact the true point is the fragility and deep-down horror of the world the characters inhabit.

So, let’s start at the beginning, with our broken down anti-hero, our sexy sexy, dead-inside unreliable narrator, our little boy John Galt, our living, breathing Howard Roark, requisite white skin and square jaw and the whole package (double entendre intended): Don [swoon] Draper.

“What you call ‘love,’ men like me invented to sell nylons.” – Don Draper.

Oh, Don, you and your catchphrases!

Beatnik: “[Ad men are] Perpetuating the lie—how do you sleep at night?”
Don Draper: “On a bed made of money.”

[Oh, speaking of that point: Please be aware that yes, of course this anarcho-feminist believes that advertising executives are scum of the earth. I’m not a capitalist and have a trizillion problems with the advertising-dependent capitalist system. But while capitalism is of course the backdrop to Mad Men and informs its themes and provides much ironic thematic fun (and real money for the network), Mad Men, it seems to me, is primarily about hearts. So I decided not to get into a meta-analysis of how the inherent horribleosities with capitalism problematize all layers of the show. Ya dig?]

So, Don.
Remember my thesis about Mad Men?

“-It’s about feminism.
-It’s about nihilism.

Specifically: how a heartbreaking devotion to the latter held back the former. And: how that changed.”

Thus, Don is our chief nihilist: perpetually pushing away any troubling signs of morality (season two, episode eleven: “Why would you deny yourself something you want?”), mortality, or everyday reality in order to continue to….to, what, exactly?

What is the purpose of Don’s life? We’re all trying to figure it out with him. It certainly isn’t to have the typical late-1950s, early 1960s existence: good job, lovely home, wife, and children, because though his surface charms have easily attracted all these things, he spends most of his days ignoring, destroying, or fleeing from them.

In his most ham-fisted moment, his soliloquy in the pilot episode, Don tells his paramour-to-be, the Jewess (this most un p.c. word so perfectly suits how most other characters think of her) businesswoman Rachel Menken, “I’m living like there’s no tomorrow. Because there isn’t one.”

Isn’t that nice for him.

It seems to me that most of the male characters share a similar set of values—and if they don’t, and they make the ultimate mistake of caring for something besides their own immediate happiness and material success–they are severely punished (when Kinsey goes down South to register black voters, it is made clear that he is going not because he truly has a political consciousness, but because his girlfriend is black and wants to go, and because he believes it will elevate his status around the office, because to truly believe in civil rights would be to show weakness—a crack in the nihilism aesthetic.).

[One quick overly long bracketed note about that—this incident represents the entirety of racial politics on the show. I hope later seasons will delve into the intense civil rights issues of the era, because right now the racial politics of Mad Men are notable mostly for their absence---which is probably as it should be in a Madison Avenue office building in 1961. I hope that as the civil rights movement heats up, it will spill onto the show.

Hey, while I’m in this bracket o’ marginalization, I should state that (what is now called) GLBTQ issues are quite satisfyingly covered in the personages of Salvatore, a closeted gay guy of the older generation whose world is turn apart when the painfully young (and European) Kurt casually explains to the office that “I make love with the men, not the women.” Around the same time a nice fag hag dynamic is put into place with Peggy and Kurt and things start to look rosy for the younger generation. Not so for Salvatore, however, whose sad attempts to brush off potential d/l lovers as well as nervous assertions of his straightness are truly heartbreaking (see the pilot episode: after lovingly caressing an ad sketch he did of a shirtless man posing with a cigarette and stating that “My neighbor posed for that…he always looks very relaxed.” He {unconvincingly} tells Don that he doesn’t want to go to a bachelor party at a strip club because “If a girl’s going to shake it in my face, I want to be alone so I can do something about it.”)

And now I’m finished offensively sidelining all non-feminist issues!]

One of the reasons I am so in love with Mad Men is that the show refuses to simply explore the world of handsome men destroying the world: it peels back the curtain to show us the wreckage that nihilism leaves behind: the carelessly broken hearts, the dead-eyed stares and ruined homes. It takes what could be the most boring and clichéd topic imaginable and blows the roof off it to show us its horrible guts. In many ways it’s a crime show: we can’t turn away from the wreckage because it is filmed so tenderly and in such detail.

Anyway, by the end of the second season with the dramatic backdrop of the Cuban missile crisis, this point (“I’m living like there’s no tomorrow. Because there isn’t one.”) is driven home over and over: the end is near, perpetually. Nothing matters, nothing makes a difference. If it weren’t for the heart-stoppingly gorgeous sets and hairstyles and clothes, the show would be bleak beyond redemption, particularly toward the end of the second season, when everything feels like it’s sliding to a horrid stop.

Let’s back up a little though.

Don. He’s not a total nihilist, he has some sort of decalogue, and the flashes of it that occasionally peek out give us hope and keep him stringing us along and not writing him off as a beautiful, fucked-up-beyond-redemption human being. (For example, when his colleague Freddy Rumsen is so drunk at work that he pisses in his pants, he is angry at the way others in the office ridicule him.)

Particularly toward the end of Season Two, I think the writers’ are trying to show us that he is trying to fumble his way to some sort of authentic life. In season two, episode six, I think we are meant to see that perhaps Don is beginning to have a small awareness of the kind of world he is leaving his daughter—he has left a lover (Bobbie Barrett) tied up in a hotel room (this trope is so played out—I don’t even watch pornos and I can think of like four movies where the old “leaving your lover tied to the hotel bed” — is trotted out, argh.) when she admitted that she had bragged about his sexual prowess to another of his former paramours.

That’s all well and good, I suppose, but I think that he’s not trying that hard—I think he’s just having another set of experiences, still living like there’s no tomorrow. I’m not sure he is capable of becoming, as they would start to say a half-decade or so after the season is set, a fully actualized person. He’s a beautiful manikin, and I just want to watch him woodenly move through the world, with his cigarettes and beautiful clothes.

More than any other character I’ve ever seen on TV, he knows we’re watching, too (appropriately, there is literally a stage in the main office, where all characters must enter and exit.). He does everything he does for us, because he’s incapable of acting in a truly authentic way—because he literally has no authenticity. As his wife, Betty, says at one point when for just a second she lets down the guard she has spent an entire life constructing and decides to tell it like it is: “Stop it Don—nobody’s watching.”

In spite or because of this, Don’s small set of values is meant to mean something to us: whenever we catch a glimpse of whatever tiny heart he has underneath his expensive suits and fake name and entirely false life, it’s meant to sort of devastate us. He’s our protagonist, and we’re supposed to want him to be a good person. When he goes to California toward the end of season two, we’re supposed to see that after watching a presentation on the joys of nuclear annihilation he has a true psychic break. Something (and not just something: The Ultimate Thing, nihilism carried to its logical conclusion: mutually assured destruction of all life on earth) finally scratched the unscratchable surface of Don Draper, and maybe he is on his way to becoming a real human.

Thus, he literally goes toward the light, replacing his pinstriped Manhattan world with sunny California and metaphors of truth and sun. Everything is new in California in the early 1960s: the ultra modern house Don follows a lover (heavy handidly-named Joy) to, Mexican food, which he’s never had before.

“So Don, what’s your story?” one of the characters he meets along the way asks him, and for the first time he answers honestly:

“I don’t know how to answer that.”

 

 
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