Friends, customers, clients, countrymen and women:
I write to you from the depths of despair!
Allow me to take a deep and cleansing breath before I unburden my troubles. Brace yourselves.
Rubbermaid has stopped making the Stain shield clear plastic containers that I use for my meal delivery service.
I know. It’s shocking, and horrific.
Allow me to provide you with a little more information on this most troubling development in the world of plastic food-storage containers. They have replaced them with the Rubbermaid Stain shield Premier line, which is in every way inferior, especially since it does not include a 4-cup size, of which I use dozens upon dozens each week and have been hoarding for years. This news has greatly wounded me, and I have been in high-level talks with the Rubbermaid folks, impressing upon them the benefits of the crystal-clear plastic and gunmetal grey tight-fitting lid that is the original Stain shield line. Alas, my entreaties have not made them relent.
Amazingly, Rubbermaid refuses to take the quantities of Lagusta’s Luscious meals into account when planning the sizes of their product lines!
O Stain shield containers! My heart weeps! How well they withstand repeated washings! O how steadfastedly do they refuse to become stained with tomato products! The new Premier line, with its bulky black lid which takes up twice as much space in the cabinet, will never take the place of the original.
I am not writing this email to ask you to, as I have, call up Rubbermaid and get the numbers of all the wholesale retailers in this fine country who might have caches of these fine containers in the back corners of their warehouses and could be persuaded to part with them in exchange for a few credit card numbers.
No, friends and lovers of high-quality containers, I am asking something different. I am asking you to think back to a time when you might have received food from me and the container – for whatever reason, I am not being judgmental, I know it happens – did not make its way back to me. Please, in the name of maintaining my all-important stocks of containers, search your cabinets, your freezers, your kitchen shelves, and return to me any beloved Stain shield containers (4-cup, 2-cup, and the ever cute round 1-cup which is being replaced by a cruel-looking square 1-cup which will just not be the same) that might be found therein. For your reference as well as reminiscing purposes, a photo of the containers follows.
Thank you for sharing in my horror at this most unwanted development.
Yours in plastic,