Um? Like um like ummm like? Tee hee!

Continuing in the NPR vein:

Someone should make a Le Tigre-esque song, à la “They Want Us To Make A Symphony Out Of The Sound Of Women Swallowing Their Own Tongues,” from all the “ummms” and “likes” that NPR’s Fresh Air’s Terry Gross is constantly dropping. I subscribe to the podcast because I have roughly 18 hours a day to fill with sounds that are not me talking to me, but every week I get a little closer to screaming at her. The girlish giggling! the ingratiating faux-cuteness of her “hard-hitting questions”! The simpering suck ups! The teenage vocabulary! The valley girl habit of turning up every? single? word? into a question?!

Do any of you get the podcast of this show? I implore you to get thee to itunes right now just to hear the strange hideousness that is her intro to the podcast. Roughly it goes like this: “This is Terry Gross, the host of Fresh AIR. You’re listening to our PODcast. Our PROgram would not exist without our LIStenerswhosupporttheirlocalpublicradiostations, so we wanna start by saying…. – THANKS.” Then after that she always says FRESH AIR in this capitalized overly zesty way that makes my insides feel all wiggly.
Readers! Is it just that it’s 4:30 am, or does TG have the most weirdly accented speech of anyone on NPR, and possibly in the universe?

My theory is that she figured that EMPhasis would take the place of the INTERest she stopped having in the show about 10 years ago.

Also, her show usually sux sux sux!

I fully recognize that if I were to watch TV and listen to the liquid hell that passes for interviews on most mainstream shows, I would come running into the warm arms of anything resembling The Gross, but I don’t live in that world. I’m used to Amy Goodman and Janeane Garofalo (oh, remember when she was on Air America Radio? It was a wonderful year, I listened every goddamn day. Remember when she went to anger management classes on the air around the time of the 2004 election? My heart sung!) and I am rapidly losing my tolerance.

Her interview subjects are 85% meh, 15% interesting-people-to-whom-she-asked-embarrassingly-idiotic questions, and sometimes it’s just cheek-reddening in that Holden Caufield way to even listen in.

I remember Alison Bechdel’s (amazing, amazing, so lovely, so loved) comic Dykes to Watch Out For had a great spoof of her once, though an internet search doesn’t work for comics, so I am currently unable to find it. Here is the whole DTWOF canon, why don’t you curl up with Mo and Stewart and the gang (boo, hiss Sydney!) and see if you can find it?

(Not entirely unrelated: the idea of seeing Alison Bechdel and Lynda! Barry! together in one room is kind of giving me a girl boner right now.)

So anyway, after warily clicking on the Fresh Air “Tribute to Fake News” from 10/19, I literally had to sit down to quell my laughter after hearing Terry beg Jon Stewart to come back to the show after a terrible 2000 interview. The clip of him telling her that what is awesome about their interview is that “you don’t find me amusing in the slightest” and her explaining later that she didn’t really “get” The Daily Show back in 2000 just sums it all up.

The interview reminded me that apparently TDS has a new site with a zillion clips, so I spent the rest of the cooking day catching up out of the corner of my eye, and was thus rewarded by seeing one of my clients on the show! Neato.

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