In 7 acts, with photos of summer rolls with homegrown herbs and edible flowers, let’s go!
1) I just wrote 500 words on how annoying it is when people order things like “spiced chai tea lattes” at my sweet local café, then deleted it because, well, what would it contribute to the world to explain that “chai” implicitly contains both tea and spice, and the idea of foam in chai is weird? Nothing. Let’s talk about anarchy.
2) I am an anarcho-syndicalist (but you knew that):
My pal Aaron sent me a link to this handy test that is a much better guide to where your political views fall on the spectrum than the standard silly left/right oversimplification. I fit pretty much perfectly into the bottom leftmost corner (to my chagrin, I am closer to the Libertarian line than I would like to admit).
3) I’m never quite sure what I think about the 9/11 Truth movement, and I’m never quite motivated to do the research to figure out a position. If you’re in the same camp, this excellent article might help a bit. I deeply love Matt Taibbi, so I must admit I was biased on his side from the beginning. I must also admit I haven’t read the whole thing, so don’t get mad at me if Taibbi says something stupid halfway through.
4) Vegans: Is there something very wrong with me that I kind of sort of want a scarf that looks like bacon? I can’t exactly put into words why it appeals to me, but I have a feeling it somehow has something to do with John Waters.
5) Did you know about Black Dog Syndrome? This made me proud to live with a black cat, and resolute to adopt a black dog someday. Fascinating, weird shit.
6) You know when you make flax seed eggs (I call it flax seed snot. Actually, I call it “f.s.s.”) and you always wonder if you could make a second batch with the same flax seeds? Then you do, and it’s all watery and not thick enough? I found a trick for teasing out two batches of snot from one handful of flax seeds: bring the second batch to a boil, then let it sit in the fridge overnight. Your “eggs” will be crazily thick! (If you don’t know what I’m talking about: a great vegan egg replacer for instances when you need to use eggs as a binder-not a leavener-is to boil some flax seeds with some water. The super gelatinous liquid that is the result is pretty much the exact same texture as egg whites. Did Sarah Kramer invent this? I always thought so, but I am most likely wrong.)
7) I’ve saved the long rambly part for the end:
Since the great kid-breakthrough of August 2008, I have been watching kids a bit more closely, trying to decide if I can’t say I dislike kids anymore, or if the previously mentioned Q. is just an exceptionally cool kid. Here’s what I’ve decided (I’m sure you’re riveted): kids are still not cute to me (or objectively). They are still kind of snotty (literally) and I am wary of touching them. They are clutchy and grubby. (Q. is particularly cute, it is true.) I could do without their physical presences. I have to admit, though, that I like watching their brains work.
Kids’ brains are hilarious, weird, wonderful places, why didn’t anyone ever mention this to me before? There are two little girls in the café right now, of an undetermined age (I would say between 3 and 7), probably play date pals. One just tried to lift the other one onto a chair – pretty much an impossibility because they are the exact same size. She wiggled and heaved and clutched, and finally the liftee said to the lifter, “I have an idea! The pillow!!!!” And she grasped at the chair cushion, trying to use it to help her get onto the chair. The cushion wasn’t attached, and the lifter lost her balance and they both fell backwards onto the floor and writhed around while screaming at the top of their lungs. (Side note: kids screaming doesn’t really bother me. As I’ve said again and again, what bothers me is what always bothers me in the café – people of any age interrupting my work. I like eavesdropping and I don’t mind noise. I just mind being touched or talked to – unless, of course, dogs are involved.) I am fascinated that the liftee thought grabbing the pillow would help her get onto the chair, and I am fascinated that them falling onto the floor was apparently a source of glee, rather than failure. I’m not going to go all let-the-children-lead-the-way on you, but they are weird little creatures, to be sure, and a certain sort of weirdness is always interesting, is it not?
Oh god, erase everything I just said: ONE OF THE KIDS’ NAMES IS PANGEA. Oh, New Paltz.
Anyway, I’ll leave you with this:
the opposite of fascism is not communism but anarchism!