As a continuation of the awesome godfight I provoked recently, I am going to copy and paste an IM exchange a pal and I had while we were both goofing off from our separate work/housecleaning tasks by reading this thread:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/homesteadingchristians/message/5530 —which I will merely copy and not make into a link because, honestly, I am tired of godpeeps and their comments.
It’s a pretty silly exchange, and before you call me infantile, here’s the deal: it’s such a small simple thing, the thing of not believing in god. It’s so infinitesimally small compared with everything else in the world, all the real issues like people not having enough to eat and our tax dollars buying Israeli guns that are killing kids in Gaza. Those are things that matter. Believing in god shouldn’t matter at all. It’s just a fairytale, it’s just so silly—we should have evolved past it ages ago. So it’s fine to make fun of it and be childish. I’m so beyond it that I can’t do anything but laugh about it when I see people who still care about it, instead of caring about what matters.
the mystery of how the jesus crew found me blog is solved: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/homesteadingchristians/message/5605
J: “atheist group” wow.
i love that these people are going to your site, awesome.
oh MAN the house is SO clean!!
Me: Yay for clean house! I’m getting tons of work done, despite also spying on my blog readers.
everything is all coming together.
do you think it’s because i have people praying for me that today is going so well in the kitchen?
J: It must be.
the house smells fucking jesus awesome so that must help too.
ok, back to work, my heathen love.
J: btw, you’ve got to post about about their blog talking about your blog!
now you’re a pagan
oh–there will be a head of coals poured on your head!!
Me: they call me a pagan?
cool, I’ll take it. I loves the pagans.
J: this shit just gets better
“Just stand tall in the Lord, let your light shine, and love her…it will pile heaping coals on her head. ”
Me: OH MY GOSH!!!
J: and you have to see the websites these people run, oh WOW
Me: ¨loving¨me is what will pile the coals?
that’s the coal guy
“Hey, some of my best friends are atheist. In fact, you know one of the ones that WAS an atheist when I met her. Fortunately, that’s not the case today. ”
phew, fortunately, god forbid!
“By the way, I left him a comment”
Me: oh man! Names that end with an A are feminine, GRRRR!!!
oh my oh my this site is amazing!!! [ http://scriptures.cc/3752/%5D
christian pyramid scheme??
J: “Well, I think we should really keep this person in prayer. But for the grace of God, there go I. In fact, 20 some odd years ago, that WAS me. ”
everyone’s praying for you! i’d post a little message asking them to stop!
or at least pronounce your name right when they do
Me: Whilst cooking, I’m watching a documentary about Sacco and Vanzetti that is all about…well, how people get put to death because other people are close-minded.
J: “Now we should band together in prayer for this person and her followerers”
your heathen followers
Me: I think now I’m just going to post about how all this good stuff has been coming my way since they started praying for me: orgies and stuff like that
J: ugh, that movie sounds crazy but it’s so awfully true.
Me: Sacco was so nice to kittens!
J: “Hopefully, it won’t be peppered with such foul language. I imagine it will be…I need to look up that quote concerning cussing…”
Me: …but they sentenced him to death because he was an anarchist.
J: oh boy.
Me: oh yes!!! fuck yea, bring it on!
I SHALL PEPPER
J: you’re a chef after all
Let freedom ring, I say. That´s what kills me about these people. I just want freedom, truly!
They pretend to want freedom but really want everyone to be the same.
My new truffles slogan, courtesy Mr. Christian Pyramid Scheme: “MOST IMPORTANT: Order Products you are already using from us rather than from a secular company that may be using their profits to support ungodly principles. Think About It!”
Think About It!!!
Jacob: this is an odd one, weird on so many levels:
“We talk about those with whom we have relationships, our parents, our spouses, our kids…. why not talk about our Lord? Atheists should be no more offended at that than the childless are when we talk about our children. Would you be apologizing about talking about your children? Or about talking about your husband to a single woman? Then do not apologize about mentioning our Lord to someone who does not have a relationship with Him.”
for the record, all those things offend me! [Note to friends of mine with cute kids—not really!]
this thread goes on for forever!
J: “Someone has obviously rammed religion down her neck, why stir that up again by proclaiming an apology is not deserved. Her only sin is being lost and we all were at one time…..”
now they’re ganging up on each other for almost apologizing for their faith and everyone is saying don’t!
Me: wow, my parents and grandparents are all atheists!!
except for my one grandmother, but we get along! Religion has never rammed me!
infighting, oooh yes!
J: “Yep….. We are all friends… I was thinking about doing very ugly things to her but then I had to repent.. I think everyone is wounded like I have been so I have a tendancy to stick up for angry people as I have been one for many years”
i am so glad she repented.
Me: man, who the fuck says shit like this?
I don’t even think of “doing ugly things” to people like Cheney!
I just hope he will fall off a cliff, which is not exactly the same thing.
J: so long as you don’t push him
Me: on that bizarre scriptures page ponzi scheme thingie, one of their page titles is “TESTIMONIES”
J: the sad thing is that the Katrina person you originally talked about is actually the sanest of the group.
all about the testicle money!
Me: please peep the pic of this “master stylist”
J: yeah, that guy is incredible. if he was working in williamsburg to do retro styling then I’d believe it!
Me: oh, poor katrina. i think of all these christian housewifey ladies trying to do the right thing, and just not being happy with their lives but not knowing an alternative, or what real life is as you and i know it.
it kinda breaks my heart. They need good old 1970s Betty Friedan-style feminism.
As does master stylist, who, yes, would make tons of money in williamsburg!!!
J: yeah, they talk about god giving them patience with their kid and their husbands
they just want to feel part of a group
I bet they all wear Crocs though.
The very best part of that weird scriptures scheme page [ http://scriptures.cc/3752/%5D is that you also get: “FREE Conference Calls” when you buy the weird package thingie…
I’m sure that’s going to make you sign up in a second, because i know how you loves the conf. calls!
J: hm, tempting…which is against the lord of course
Me: one of the testicle-monials:
“By the way, I have been working with an employee of mine from a spiritual standpoint. She had a great AHA! experience listening to your Monthly Teaching Tapes on Salvation. Her husband was born a Jew but was not brought up “religiously” (I happen to think of this as a plus). He is beginning to understand the concept of salvation and is now excited to attend church and is open to reading materials I pass along. Pray for these folks”
i love how ¨religiously¨is in quotes, because everyone knows that Jews can’t really be ¨religious.”
J: it always comes back to jew bashing!