blah blah god is dead blah blah

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As a continuation of the awesome godfight I provoked recently, I am going to copy and paste an IM exchange a pal and I had while we were both goofing off from our separate work/housecleaning tasks by reading this thread:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/homesteadingchristians/message/5530 —which I will merely copy and not make into a link because, honestly, I am tired of godpeeps and their comments.

It’s a pretty silly exchange, and before you call me infantile, here’s the deal: it’s such a small simple thing, the thing of not believing in god. It’s so infinitesimally small compared with everything else in the world, all the real issues like people not having enough to eat and our tax dollars buying Israeli guns that are killing kids in Gaza. Those are things that matter. Believing in god shouldn’t matter at all. It’s just a fairytale, it’s just so silly—we should have evolved past it ages ago. So it’s fine to make fun of it and be childish. I’m so beyond it that I can’t do anything but laugh about it when I see people who still care about it, instead of caring about what matters.

Thus:
Me: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/homesteadingchristians/message/5530
fucking awesome
the mystery of how the jesus crew found me blog is solved: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/homesteadingchristians/message/5605

J: “atheist group” wow.
i love that these people are going to your site, awesome.

pretty hilarious.
oh MAN the house is SO clean!!

Me: Yay for clean house! I’m getting tons of work done, despite also spying on my blog readers.
everything is all coming together.
do you think it’s because i have people praying for me that today is going so well in the kitchen?
J: It must be.
the house smells fucking jesus awesome so that must help too.

Me: totes

thanks jesus!

ok, back to work, my heathen love.

J: btw, you’ve got to post about about their blog talking about your blog!

now you’re a pagan

oh–there will be a head of coals poured on your head!!

Me: they call me a pagan?
cool, I’ll take it. I loves the pagans.

J: this shit just gets better
“Just stand tall in the Lord, let your light shine, and love her…it will pile heaping coals on her head. ”

Me: HEAPING!!

J: HEAPS!!!

Me: OH MY GOSH!!!

J: and you have to see the websites these people run, oh WOW

Me: ¨loving¨me is what will pile the coals?

J: http://scriptures.cc/3752/
that’s the coal guy

“Hey, some of my best friends are atheist.  In fact, you know one of the ones that WAS an atheist when I met her. Fortunately, that’s not the case today. ”

phew, fortunately, god forbid!

“By the way, I left him a comment”

Me: oh man! Names that end with an A are feminine, GRRRR!!!

oh my oh my this site is amazing!!! [ http://scriptures.cc/3752/%5D

christian pyramid scheme??

oy vey!!

J: “Well, I think we should really keep this person in prayer. But for the grace of God, there go I. In fact, 20 some odd years ago, that WAS me. ”

everyone’s praying for you! i’d post a little message asking them to stop!

or at least pronounce your name right when they do

Me: Whilst cooking, I’m watching a documentary about Sacco and Vanzetti that is all about…well, how people get put to death because other people are close-minded.
J: “Now we should band together in prayer for this person and her followerers”

your heathen followers

Me: I think now I’m just going to post about how all this good stuff has been coming my way since they started praying for me: orgies and stuff like that

MY FOLLOWERS!!!

J: ugh, that movie sounds crazy but it’s so awfully true.

Me: Sacco was so nice to kittens!

J: “Hopefully, it won’t be peppered with such foul language. I imagine it will be…I need to look up that quote concerning cussing…”
Me: …but they sentenced him to death because he was an anarchist.

J: oh boy.
Me: oh yes!!! fuck yea, bring it on!
I SHALL PEPPER

J: you’re a chef after all

Me: totes.

Let freedom ring, I say. That´s what kills me about these people. I just want freedom, truly!
They pretend to want freedom but really want everyone to be the same.

My new truffles slogan, courtesy Mr. Christian Pyramid Scheme: “MOST IMPORTANT: Order Products you are already using from us rather than from a secular company that may be using their profits  to support ungodly principles. Think About It!”

Think About It!!!
Jacob: this is an odd one, weird on so many levels:
“We talk about those with whom we have relationships, our parents, our spouses, our kids…. why not talk about our Lord? Atheists should be no more offended at that than the childless are when we talk about our children. Would you be apologizing about talking about your children? Or about talking about your husband to a single woman? Then do not apologize about mentioning our Lord to someone who does not have a relationship with Him.”
Me:

W
O
W
for the record, all those things offend me! [Note to friends of mine with cute kids—not really!]
this thread goes on for forever!
J: “Someone has obviously rammed religion down her neck, why stir that up again by proclaiming an apology is not deserved. Her only sin is being lost and we all were at one time…..”

now they’re ganging up on each other for almost apologizing for their faith and everyone is saying don’t!
crazies!!
Me: wow, my parents and grandparents are all atheists!!
except for my one grandmother, but we get along! Religion has never rammed me!
infighting, oooh yes!
J: “Yep….. We are all friends… I was thinking about doing very ugly things to her but then I had to repent.. I think everyone is wounded like I have been so I have a tendancy to stick up for angry people as I have been one for many years”

i am so glad she repented.

Me: man, who the fuck says shit like this?
I don’t even think of “doing ugly things” to people like Cheney!
I just hope he will fall off a cliff, which is not exactly the same thing.
J: so long as you don’t push him

Me: on that bizarre scriptures page ponzi scheme thingie, one of their page titles is “TESTIMONIES”

J: the sad thing is that the Katrina person you originally talked about is actually the sanest of the group.

all about the testicle money!

Me: please peep the pic of this “master stylist”
http://www.scriptures.cc/cgi-bin/d.cgi/3752/founder.htm
J: yeah, that guy is incredible. if he was working in williamsburg to do retro styling then I’d believe it!
Me: oh, poor katrina. i think of all these christian housewifey ladies trying to do the right thing, and just not being happy with their lives but not knowing an alternative, or what real life is as you and i know it.

it kinda breaks my heart. They need good old 1970s Betty Friedan-style feminism.

As does master stylist, who, yes, would make tons of money in williamsburg!!!

J: yeah, they talk about god giving them patience with their kid and their husbands
they just want to feel part of a group

Me: Aww.

I bet they all wear Crocs though.

The very best part of that weird scriptures scheme page [ http://scriptures.cc/3752/%5D is that you also get:  “FREE Conference Calls” when you buy the weird package thingie…

I’m sure that’s going to make you sign up in a second, because i know how you loves the conf. calls!

J: hm, tempting…which is against the lord of course
Me: one of the testicle-monials:
“By the way, I have been working with an employee of mine from a spiritual standpoint. She had a great AHA! experience listening to your Monthly Teaching Tapes on Salvation. Her husband was born a Jew but was not brought up “religiously” (I happen to think of this as a plus). He is beginning to understand the concept of salvation and is now excited to attend church and is open to reading materials I pass along. Pray for these folks”
i love how ¨religiously¨is in quotes, because everyone knows that Jews can’t really be ¨religious.”

J: it always comes back to jew bashing!

13 Responses to “blah blah god is dead blah blah”

  1. brittany

    wow, ramming and testi-monies… this is right up my *ahem* alley!

    i nearly died when i read about how love will put those heaps o’ coal on your head… too bad they weren’t smoldering. i guess they save that for when they really, really love you… erm… tolerate?

    so fabulous…

    Reply
  2. Anyone

    <<<>>

    And it goes to who – you have clearly revealed by your attitude your own delusions for all to see.

    Reply
  3. Anyone

    Lagusta falsely claims in another post this part below

    ……I listen to the news every day, and 90% or more of the ridiculousness in this world is people who have bought into the god delusion killing or hating others because they have a slightly different god delusion. I hate it and it makes me heartsick and I won´t shut up about it, ever…….

    __________

    I write …
    It sure gets interesting.
    And it goes to show – Lagusta has clearly revealed her own religious fundamentalism and her delusions for all to see.
    I used to have respect for those who had concerns about religious fundamentalists, but I read here , a clear demonstration not all really are concerned about this but only have their own religious zealotry as an atheist fundamentalist.

    Reply
  4. gwytherinn

    They’re praying for you…. my deepest apologies!

    That “you’re proof of what the Bible says, look how His Word is right!” comment on the other thread really made me choke. There are things that can be taken as truth in all of the major religious books, but I guess those who follow a different religion are just being led astray by Satan or something!

    Reply
  5. Dr_Mom

    “Her husband was born a Jew but was not brought up “religiously” (I happen to think of this as a plus). He is beginning to understand the concept of salvation and is now excited to attend church and is open to reading materials I pass along. Pray for these folks”
    i love how ¨religiously¨is in quotes, because everyone knows that Jews can’t really be ¨religious.”

    J: it always comes back to jew bashing!”

    Always looking for a reason to feel the victim, Laguna? That was not jew-bashing, that was a denotation that religion is not the solution. I was not brought up ‘religiously’ either and I am not a jew, so get off your poor me routine!

    Reply
  6. lagusta

    Well, I wasn’t the one who said that, and it was a joke. But it’s OK that you didn’t get that.

    Reply
  7. Marla

    Laguna: may God’s avenging angels rip you from limb to limb while the buzzard’s of His righteousness peck your eyes out and put burning charcoal in your empty sockets and may your screams of pain be unanswered and may each scream bring you more torment. Because I’m a Christian like that…

    Reply
  8. jenny s.

    matzoh: may you argue religion over the internet and lead a horribly boring, monotonous, stupid, cruel life. because you are a christian like that…

    Reply

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