living underground in the real world

Planned Parenthood, I call you out! (Also: I am no longer vegan)

ln001raspberries-posters

So, last time I was at PP (not having health insurance is OK in this instance—I generally love my neighborhood PP and way overpay on their sliding scale instead of giving them donations throughout the year) getting my ladyparts maintained, I made some joke while my tits were being palpitated or whatever about how it was nice not having to wear a bra. The OB-GYN said that I might want to wear one, “just for health.” I didn’t really press her, but—OH MY GOD!!!! AHHHHH!!!! HOLD ON!!!

I JUST ATE A FUCKING BUG!!!!

Oh my gosh!! I was eating handfuls of frozen raspberries from Meadowview Farm, and realized, way too late, that one raspberry was way more crunchy than it should have been (horribly, it was an interesting textural contrast, I think that’s why I didn’t spit it out right away). With a sinking feeling I pulled the half-eaten “bite” out of my mouth and it was some sort of bug. Not a tiny little gnat, not a fruit fly. A BUG. A half eaten (swallowed!) bug.

I THINK IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN A FLY. Seriously. It was BIG. Did I just eat a frozen fly? Oh ICK. I think it was inside a raspberry, which is why I didn’t notice it.

I just ate a raspberry-wrapped fly.

Fuck man, now it’s going to take seven years for me to be vegan again!

ANYWAY.

Via some ridiculous chain of day-off internetting around (I think I got there from here originally), I came across this today:

Boob BS Alert #3: Bras aren’t needed for breast health, and no viable data has ever shown that brassieres prevent breasts from sagging over time. The sag or droop of breasts over time is about genetics and the unique proportion of fat and tissue of a given woman’s breasts. Wearing them is an individual preference based on physical and/or emotional comfort. For those who like wearing a bra to bed, there’s also little to suggest that it’s unsafe, especially if the bra is soft and flexible. In other words, whether you choose to wear a brassiere or not, either choice is healthy and neither choice will impact the health or the bra-free appearance of the breasts.

Ha! A little part of me had been thinking I “should” wear a bra since that appointment, and I’m happy to lay that ridiculousness to rest. Beloved comfy torn wifebeaters, you are here to stay! (Jacob is somewhere in London and I can feel his sigh all the way across the Atlantic…)

Eeew! I ate a fly!

16 Responses to “Planned Parenthood, I call you out! (Also: I am no longer vegan)”

  1. brittany

    PP faces many of the same problems as any other business. We establish and enforce high levels of quality control, but you can’t always manage 100% of what your employees say or do while representing your organization. I’m sorry to hear you were dealt with in that way. Unfortunately, as you know all too well, paranoia and misinformation about female health tend to persist a bit more than other types. It’s a tough barrier to overcome, even among highly educated and qualified professionals! PP obviously doesn’t sanction this type of advice. Do you know the name of your NP? If so, send it over to me privately.

    THANK YOU for being a PPMHV client. We are undergoing a radical shift in our business model right now and are working to increase the types of private insurance plans we are able to accept. I, too, continue as a PPMHV client, even though my insurance is not accepted yet, and I pay more for my visits than I would at a private OBGYN. This is in addition to my gifts each year and well worth it, as I know the services being subsidized through my support are far more important to the people who receive them than some extra cash-on-hand for me. In addition, having a strong PP presence in my community is also really important to me and I will do everything in my power to guarantee that PPMHV remains a viable organization providing affordable, quality reproductive health care and education in the Hudson Valley.

    Reply
  2. lagusta

    Thanks Brittany! Yeah, i don’t hold it against them or anything–I really love the little New Paltz PP, it’s a great place. I’ve heard horror stories about how people are treated at other PPs in the past, but I’ve always been treated with such kindness and a super high level of care–I recommend it to everyone. I don’t remember the name of my NP, but except for that one comment she was super lovely. Long live Planned Parenthood!

    Reply
  3. Jen

    Screw bras (and those who insist they are essential). Worst invention EVER! Except perhaps pantyhose.

    Reply
    • lagusta

      Oh snap! I was hoping a radical feminist reader would berate me for that! Awww, can’t I be just the tiniest bit unp.c.? ;)

      Reply
  4. orlande

    i know, i know… “a-shirt” just doesn’t sound the same! but still. i don’t need to lecture i’m sure :)

    also, let me know if your shoe addiction continues with that etsy store. i’m the least femme-y female of all time (exaggeration no doubt), but secretly i like to live out my femininity vicariously.

    Reply
  5. lagusta

    awwww, i love it when people are more hardcore than me about things!!! lesson learned, thank you! i am on a cloud of happiness, seriously, that for once I’m not the annoying freak making people feel bad about their fucked-up linguistic choices and encouraging them to be the better person I know they can be.

    I’M NOT BEING SARCASTIC! :)

    Reply
  6. Ruby

    Y’all, I hate to have my body betray me in this, but I wear bras most of the time because I hurt without them. I do dances of the jump-up-and-down variety daily (I work with toddlers and when I show up they scream “Dance party!” – which I can’t resent because I taught them that.) Plus I go out dancing with honest-to-dog adults once or twice a week, and when I don’t wear bras my boobs hurt in major ways and I have to dance hoping that my arms-crossed-holding-them-up is a subtle new dance no one will notice as functional.

    The thing is, I don’t have big boobs at all – just sensitive ones, I guess. My (hippie) mom always tries to get me to braless when I’m home for xmas and sometimes I do..it feels great. I feel like a badass…then I start to bounce to the music and wish I had my holsters back.

    (However, my favorite outfit for short, non-dancing trips in the winter/fall is a sweater over jeans with no under or over garments. I feel like I’m in “Backbeat” and it makers me love my neighborhood for letting me be that comfortable.)

    Reply
  7. lagusta

    Oh yeah, I am not anti-bra at all. I’m not anti-cleavage or anything. I’m just anti me wearing a bra! And as I have never danced in my life, nor been around toddlers, nor do I ever run, it works for me.

    Just as a test, I just did 15 jumping jacks with no discomfort at all—isn’t it interesting how everyone’s bodies are so different?

    A part of me thinks though, that if I were to find a comfortable bra, I would like to wear one now and then, just for kicks or fancy events or whatnot. If anyone has any favorite super comfy bras, please speak up!

    Reply
  8. Ilene

    Dear Brittany,

    Does PPMHV offer instruction in Fertility Awareness? (Not the Standard Days Method, but real, sympto-thermal Fertility Awareness.) If not, please contact me. I am an instructor in Manhattan and I’m extremely dismayed by the fact that the vast majority of PP facilities do not offer this safe, effective, empowering, cost-free, immediately-reversible form of birth control (which can also be used as an aid to conception by women desiring pregnancy). If you have no trained instructors currently on staff, I would be happy to help you expand the range of services you currently offer. A link to my organization is on the “fascinating friends” section of this blog (thank you, Lagusta!) and I am also tracking replies to this post.

    Reply
  9. abovegroundpool

    re: wifebeaters

    I got called out by Carol Adams for my language sloppiness this week, too, after I referred to The Sexual Politics of Meat as her seminal work. As in semen/seed. Ha! I changed the text, but the mistake made me laugh all day.

    Reply
  10. lagusta

    Heya Jenny! I’d be a lot more inclined to believe those horrible racist quotes if they weren’t lumped in with horrible anti-choice rhetoric. Got any other non-crazy links that might talk rationally about Sanger’s racism you could share?

    Reply

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