living underground in the real world

Canada hates email, but that only makes me love it more

A quick housekeeping note:

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Dear everyone in the world,

I probably owe you an email. Canada is very kindly allowing me to read my emails and otherwise get online via my sister-out-law’s speedy wireless network, but my email won’t mail itself any further than my outbox, no matter how hard my computer whiz sweetheart tries to coax it. Four macs in this household, and mine is the only unruly one.

So don’t worry, world, you will get all my missives and manifestos (more likely: boring “Yo, do you want to order mealz this week or not, mofo?” emails) later on today when I make my way back into the old États-Unis. I’m starting to get those “did you get my email” emails that people send when they don’t get immediate responses.

Why are we all so crazy? I’m the same way, probably even worse. Pohanna (said sister-out-law), she of no cell phone and a very balanced, deeply sane life that involves stretching before bed and regular baths, said to Jacob and I today: “Do you ever think about not using your phones for a day?”

I answered: “I think about it all the time. I think about how horrible it would be to wake up to all those messages and emails the next day.”

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Modern life, you’re dumb. Why can’t I live in Canada and speak Québécois French and hang out in cafés with all the super stylie Montrealers (Montrealistes? Montrealians? Montrealites?? Po is asleep and I can’t ask her!) all day? The styles happening in Montreal are OFF THE HOOK, people. Montreal might just be the only city in the world that is full of people who can pull off sideways hair (like, shaved on one side, super long on the other) with motherfucking APLOMB. I’ve had to wear the tightie whities two days in a row to keep up!

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Fun fact! États = “state” backward. Also! En Français, “avocado” and “lawyer” are the very same word. What a bizarro culture.

Oh, and I ate noix de coco fumée—coconut bacon—at a resto today (Aux Vivres–all vegan & pretty tasty!): shaved coconut baked with liquid smoke and possibly some shoyu. I can’t say I liked it exactly, I can’t say that it was really at all bacon-y, but it was interesting, for sure. The locally-made hibiscus kombucha I drank it with, however, was amazing. Best kombucha ever, dude.

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