Um. I wrote this post at 4 AM last night. That’s my excuse.
Also deserving of an excuse I cannot provide (except to say that I am a ridiculous person) is that I am now the kind of person who wears a ribbon bow on their head, though they are more than a third of a century old. I have so many ribbon scraps!
I try to keep my business and my blog fairly separate. A lot of my Upper West Sidey clients [I should just change the name of my meal delivery service to Lagusta’s Luscious Food for People Who Live On The UWS. I swear 80% of my clients live on those leafy brownstoney streets] are sweet, wholesome people, and I don’t want to subject them to my profanity-laced ramblings. But I talk so much about my business on the blog in a way that chocolate customers especially might be interested in, that I feel sad that I try to hide it. On the other hand, I also talk about:
- My vag.
- Not liking dudes.
- Or married people.
- Or babies.
- Or people in general.
- The word “fuck.”
- The word “fucking.”
- The word “shit.”
- The overwhelming, all-consuming, head-to-toe rage that periodically engulfs me completely.
(If at this point you are saying: “but Lagusta, I recently emailed you and your email signature has a link to your blog in it, WTF!” Aha! I have two email signatures! I am sneaky!)
I can’t decide. I also have this question about Facebook. I like to separate Lagusta from Lagusta’s Luscious on Facebook. Only one of my clients is my FB friend, and I constantly worry that he is all “Hmm, how interesting that her status update is currently ‘douching.*'”
On the other hand, if I was really a businesswoman I would have businessy pages for the chocos and meals on Facebook. But oh, the very idea makes me tired. If I didn’t have all these unwholesome ideas and vitriol and things, I wouldn’t have this problem, but I do, so I do, and I think about it a lot.
I think it’s pretty obvious that I run my business with values other than capitalism at its center, but I also think it’s important to be professional to a certain extent, you know? At the same time, it’s important to feed those parts of myself that are most adamantly not professional. Balance, all that.
*Do I even need to say that this is a made-up status update? But how HILARIOUS would it be? Ladies, I sort of want to dare you to have “douching” as your status update.
…[thinks about this]…
OK, OK! Let’s do(uche) this!—if you have “douching” as your Facebook status update for one solid week, I will send you a box of vulvas, promise. And it can’t be “douching (so I can get a free box of vulva-shaped chocolates.)” It has to be straight up “douching.” And you have to have more than like 20 friends, otherwise it’ll be no fun. And if you get a bunch of well-meaning comments like “But don’t you know that douching is not healthy?” You can’t say you are doing it to get chocolate. You have to act like you are seriously douching. Just to mess with people. It’s good to mess with people! We’re so beyond douching that it’s hilarious to joke about it! Right?
Um. THIS IS WHY I SHOULD NOT HAVE A LINK TO THE BLOG!
Wow, that whole thing very neatly resolved itself, didn’t it?