(Before we get into it: I am feeling 20,000 leagues better. Thanks for all your concern, good energies and sweetnesses! I truly think that internet venting helped. Speaking of….)
I love my small breasts. My 34As are one of my best assets, as far as I’m concerned. I don’t have to wear those torture devices other women refer to as “bras,” I can run and jump and sleep on my stomach and wear bikini tops and low cut shirts without any risk of my cups randomly spilling over (though they do like to do the occasional pop-out while body boarding. You’ve got to watch out for pop-outs.*). They’re pretty, manageable, appropriate. They serve me well. All good. And because they developed ludicrously early in life, as a teenager I was under the assumption that they were actually pretty large for my frame (ok, once in junior high a boy said to me: “For a skinny kid, you’ve got pretty big tits, you know that?”). When my arms and torso lengthened and they stayed put, I began to see that they were probably on the smallish side, but I’ve never felt weird about it or anything.
But today, in bed, hanging out, watching the snow [I wrote this last week], thinking about Howard Zinn and going to Kajitsu tonight and lazily checking the news on my phone, I came across this on the Huffington Post. I’ve become increasingly fed up with HuffPo, a site I only read because I have the handy iPhone app for it and get most of my news via morning iPhone reading. The entertainment section is your standard, mainstream, woman-hating, fat-shaming, “look at the pretty shoes Michelle Obombs is wearing!” fluff. But today there was actual fucking porn, and I can’t get past it.
Just two words about porn: 99.99% of it is misogynist trash. There is a teeny sliver of sexy great porn made by women, and hooray for that. I personally prefer words and even good porn just makes me want to laugh, but because there is that small sliver I can’t call myself an anti-porn feminist. (As usual, I am merely against the way that 99.99% of a certain thing is practiced in our culture, thus saving me from complete and utter misanthropy.)
So I’m thumbing through the ludicrous thing, and, unbidden, a thought swims up from my primordial brain: “Hey, that lady’s tits are not much bigger than mine…and she’s in a naked calendar!”
That, my friends, is the very definition of what feminists mean when we say that we breathe in the air of patriarchy and breathe out misogyny.
I deleted the stupid app from my phone. Done.
*Does anyone get that awesome reference? Here’s a hint.