a dress. a mess. this fucking world. but: a dress.

Um.

I don’t know.

I was about to make a fun little blog post about a dress I made, then I read this and now I just really want to cry.

Even this dude’s “about me” page made me want to cry.

Bad things happening to perfectly lovely people, people who just want to throw some pots, eat some good food and share their lives with their loved ones. And then everything is fucked up because of the intense greed we all share.

Nuclear power. How did this happen? How did things get so bad? I turn on the light in the middle of the night, because I want to gather the cats all around me, and because of this greed someone suffers. Exactly 2% of my electricity bill goes to wind power. I pay $7 a month for this. The rest is a mix of pure pain, including a slice of nuclear power I’m assuming comes from the absolutely terrifying Indian Point plant, poised to poison us all some day.

But. OK.

Let’s just talk about the damn dress, something to distract ourselves from the horror, or something.

Also I’m having a chocolate special today only: buy one get one free! Find out about it on the Bonbons page on Facebook!

*     *     *

Let’s start over.

I bought a dress! (before I realized how poor I am!)

A few weeks ago, Jacob and I were in Hudson, New York. Why were we in Hudson?

OK, now I’m going crazy trying to remember.

I think maybe I had a Planning Board training or something that way.

It’s driving me crazy…hmm.

Anyway, anyway, Hudson is crazy. When did it become, like, the fanciest town of all time? Full of insane designey antiquey midcentury modern furniture no one can afford. But the margaritas and copious veg options at Mexican Radio always do it for me, so Hudson, yay! And, best of all, my beloved former sous chef Veronica works at a really wonderful vintage store there.

Oh, Veronica! I miss her so much. Someone needs to write a book about her. Homeschooled genius, cooking wizard, music expert, oh, Veronica. Who’s going to write this book? Adding to her mystique, V has no real internet presence (she does non-internetty things with her time! She takes out the maximum number of library books at a time every time!), so I can’t even point you anywhere. (You can get a glimpse of her here, though!) You just have to imagine the awesomeness of Veronica in your mind.

Well, and you can go see that photo.

Oh wait, and here’s the blog she hasn’t updated in like two years. I’m telling you, she actually does stuff with her time.

So [this is one of those posts where every sentence starts with a preposition, isn’t it?] Veronica works at this great store, Sideshow, and there we were, poking around.

Now, my favorite clothes are little boy’s clothes, like hoodies from summer camp and things that I can cut down the middle and make into little cardigans. Man, I love that. But sometimes you forget, when browsing through the kid’s area at The Salv, that you can’t, say, wear pants a 12-year-old would wear just because his hoodies might fit you perfectly. I have a quick fix for that, though (the neck trick! Always works!), but dresses can be tricky.

So [!!!], when I saw the most charming dress of all time, I went to try it on, even though Veronique and Jacob both had weird looks when I grabbed it.

“Um….” Jacob said, and Veronica arched her eyebrow in that way she does, and then they let me figure it out myself and chatted at the counter.

Dudes. THE DRESS WAS SMALL.

Not only was the waist impossibly tiny, but the freaking neck was tight on me. That’s never happened before, I don’t think. I mean, I sort of have a slim neck, OK?

But already one of those horrible things had happened where I knew the dress was mine before I ever tried it on.

Isn’t it sort of sad when that happens? It’s so bittersweet. Something just says “YOU WILL OWN ME” and it’s over.

So I got the dress and brought it home, and took a look. I am not too good at sewing projects, even though I do them all the time. Isn’t that weird? Usually I like to do things well, but sewy things I just sort of bang out, and since 99% of my clothes are cheap and shitty, if they get fucked up it’s OK. I have a rule that I can’t change the thread in the machine to match a project (this is more like laziness than an actual rule, really), so I’m always hemming pink dresses with green thread or something. Who cares, it’s a miracle the dress is hemmed at all, if you ask me.

But this dress is BEAUTIFUL. So well constructed, I didn’t want to insult it. What is that little ruffly thing, like a placket or something? It has a placket!

So so so so so.

First thing, I took out the crinoline. Have I mentioned the crinoline? Crinoline!! But it was so scratchy, and did something weird to my waist. Tragedy.

Then I set about putting a little panel in the front so I could breathe in the mofo.

What do you think?

Truthfully, it’s a bit bunchy at the waist, but I made a belt that matches to cover it up.

And a headband.

Then I went to NYC with the dress the next week, and the Lower East Side convinced me that being so matchy-matchy was idiotic. So I wore a regular black belt (OK, a bowtie) to cover up the bunchy and no headband.

Better.

A dress!

I’m really proud.

11 Responses to “a dress. a mess. this fucking world. but: a dress.”

  1. hannah

    I love it. I really do, and it looks great with the red boots, too.

    Reply
  2. K

    So cute, love the alteration and agree it looks better with the black belt. I’m coming to the US in June and have added sideshow to the list of the places to visit. Thanks!

    Reply
  3. dave underwood

    You are delightful. A Breath of fresh air. Glad I found your blog.

    Reply
  4. Katy

    I too am so proud!! Love it! And you finally got some Hunter boots – what do you think? I am just about to put on mine as the land of ice and snow is turning to the land of ice, snow, mud not grass and knee deep puddles.

    Reply
    • lagusta

      THE HUNTER BOOTS ARE THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO MY LIFE IN 10 YEARS. I’m not sure why, but they are great for walking in, even though they have no support. They are miracle shoes! Do you have the little liners? They are so cozy. Man oh MAN.

      Reply
  5. veronica

    YES! I’m not gonna lie, I was a little concerned about how you were going to “make it work,” as Tim Gunn would say. But it’s awesome and I love what you did and like everyone else above I love the boots.

    Speaking of shoes (and my shoe fetish!), what are those flowery shoes next to the rotary phone in the second picture? They look amazing.

    I’m pretty sure this was the day The Real Housewives of somewhere scary were filming in Hudson, too!

    Reply
  6. lagusta

    YES! I saw those scary housewives. And ha ha! I knew you were skeptical!

    Oh yeah, I got those flowery shoes at a Buffalo Exchange in Chicago. They are all vegan and have super high heels and, like most of my shoes, I have no where to wear them, but I love them!

    Reply

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