No More Store: Days 11 and 12: in which I become a shopkeeper.

As you probably know, I’m seeing how long I can go without going to the grocery store.
Here’s the backstory, and here’s how my weekend went.

Saturday–it was the day before yesterday, yet I seem to have no memory of it. I remember that I was feeling awful again, so I went home around 4 PM, after being at work since 8:30, and slept for a few hours. Then I got up and did the neti pot and gargled with salt water and talked to my boyfriend in Spain and whined about how he wasn’t around to bring me fresh oj and tea and tissues and whine whine whine.

Then I ate the last of the homemade granola and drank probably a gallon of lemon tea and a gallon of water and did paperwork and went to sleep again.

What I ate before 4 PM appears to be lost to history, but I’ll tell you that I certainly didn’t go to the store.

Sunday every symptom of my sickness was gone except a vicious sore throat. I went to the farmer’s market and pretty much bought all the fruit they had. I stocked up amazingly on fruit and vegetables of all kinds: gooseberries, cherries, blueberries, strawberries, carrots, broccoli, bread, onions (!!!!). It was wonderful.

I was all set up to take some glorious fruit still lifes to share with ya, but then I got an APB that a friend’s cat was missing. So instead I went over to help look for the little man and ate most of the black raspberries in his backyard in the process (cat was found in the neighbor’s basement. All is right with the world. My legs are full of scratches from black raspberry bushes.). After that it was brunch at my pal Youko’s noodle shop, then I am pretty sure I ate only fruit and noodle leftovers for the rest of the day. I know I had a quart of cherries for dinner. Best dinner ever.

Oh yeah, and I secretly opened the shop on Sunday.

The display case and shelves aren’t nearly as stocked as I’d like, but I figured what the hell. People were seriously starting to bang down the door—one lady told me that if I didn’t open up soon the entire neighborhood was going to break in and steal chocolate.

I figured I’d open up the shop, very quietly, no fanfare, then set about making testers for July’s Chocolate of the Month, some of these with the strawberries I’d bought, catch up on blogging here and renovation photo blogging there, bake some stuff, you know. Get some shit done.

What happened instead was that I stood at the counter and tried to not lose my already tenuous voice while one customer after another pranced into the shop, joyfully exalting about how excited they were that YOU’RE FINALLY OPEN! IT LOOKS SO GOOD IN HERE! and bought up everything I had.

They were all lovely (one of my first customers was a chatty lesbo couple, fresh from extra prideful pride celebrations, who turned out to be old Bloodroot customers—that was a good sign.), and most of my fears of dealing with customers dissipated, and in three hours I was basically sold out.

Then I sat on the couch for five minutes and noticed that my throat felt like sandpaper rubbed with nails dipped in tacks and dragged through gravel (which is how it feels today.). But otherwise I felt insanely amazing (so did my cash drawer!), so I made myself some tea, flipped the sign Kate and Kevin had just made to “closed” and set about baking and chocolatizing.

Why does it look like there is brown paint to scrape off of the window by the LL sign? The painting project is never going to end, I see that now. Where's my razorblade...

At 2 am when they were finally finished I had a xxxxx, but I can’t tell you what the xxxxx are because I’m bringing some to a friend’s birthday party tonight and don’t want the surprise ruined in case they for some reason decide to read my blog on their birthday (?).

Ok, yes, they were croissants. I just realized I already reposed the recipe. Damn. THEY ARE SO INSANELY DELICIOUS. Jesus Christ, it’s ridiculous.

Oh, I just remembered that I also had a pretzel from the farmer’s market—they have these great homemade soft vegan pretzels. It was lovely.

Anyway, better photos coming tomorrow!

So, I’ve done this for about two weeks now—I believe today is day 13. I’m pretty confident I could go on forever, but I’m also pretty confident that without the challenge I would go back to my old ways of buying easy groceries when I could make do better using my own resources and those of my neighborhood and town. I think I’m going to go for a month and see how it is. It’s also fun to be capturing this transitional time in my life, day by day. I still feel like I’m boring all of your half to death, and the other half are maybe mad because I don’t ever seem to get mad about political things anymore, but we’ve got a lifetime for that. And also only like 10 people read this blog (10 wonderful people!), so whatevs.

I need more tea lest I expire now.

Your bestie,


8 Responses to “No More Store: Days 11 and 12: in which I become a shopkeeper.”

  1. Dustin Rhodes


    I had nearly identical symptoms to ALL the ones you’ve been describing here — even the day to day I-feel-better and then the next feeling bad all over again. To make a long story short, I had strep throat, and I put off going to the doctor until it was HORRIBLE and I wanted to die. So I am suggesting to you that you do the same. (I just took my last pill a few days ago).

    Eating that antibiotic was like manna from heaven.



    • lagusta

      what? nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! this can’t be happening!!!!!!

      • Dustin Rhodes

        I am not going to post on the internets the gory details of how bad it got for me; but suffice to say, VERY, VERY bad.

        Go to the doctor and get a strep test. If that’s what you have, you’ll start to feel better almost immediately.

        Of course I could be wrong, but it’s uncanny your description(s) here — which I could have written myself. (Before I ended up with a crazy fever and delirium).

  2. Dustin Rhodes

    Also, a strep test is, like, the least invasive thing ever. A swab. (I am just telling you this in case you dread doctor visits).

  3. lagusta

    Oh man. I might go to the sad little no-insurance-people clinic right now. Thank you.

  4. Jessica

    I may be one of the ten of your “only” readers, but be assured, I’m one gleeful reader, so there is that. No, you’re not boring. Yes, I’m jealous I’m in GA and not NY to help support your store. And I really, REALLY hope you’re not streppy. Good luck.

    • lagusta

      Aww, thanks! That made my day.

      Good news! $130 later, I do not have strep. I was told that my lymph nodes are crazy swollen, asked if I was going through any stress (!!!!!), and told to take an Alleve and come back for antibiotics if it doesn’t get better in a few days. Finding Alleve without gelatin was a struggle, but I did it! It’s a glorious blue color due to blue #2 though. I asked the Dr. if I could still drive with an Alleve in my system, and he looked at me like I was crazy. “I don’t get sick, so I don’t take medicine, so I don’t know anything about medicine,” I said. He still looked at me like I was crazy.

      Anyway, thanks for the tip, Dustin! Yeah, that swab wasn’t so bad at all for us kind of people. (bj jokes with teh gayz = the best)


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