living underground in the real world

Hairstyles 3, 4, and 5 of 27

Let’s start with the good and go downward from there, OK?

(Please note: I’m skipping #4, Braid-Wrapped Ponytail, because I know it’s going to look stupid.)

Messy Bun/Ponytail Hybrid

(#6 here. Original post here.)

Mine looks nothing like the original photo, because I do this hairstyle every other day, and I do it my own way. Ponytail—->elastic——>pins. Done.

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I also call it The Audrey.

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I’ve talked about it before.

Easy, and it looks damn good on me, eh?

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The Hair Bow

(#2 on the list.)

“This is THE hairstyle if you’ve got a picnic date coming up.”

My whole life right now is sort of a picnic date. (“Should we just bring these sandwiches to the beach?” “Sure.”)

But my date did this hairstyle, because he’s become quite the bow-tier from working in the shop.

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(The only time anyone of us shop-wenches have heard him say a bad word about a customer was when, after tying many ribbon bows on many boxes for an older woman who kept offering to hold her finger in the middle of the bow, he said after she left, “I HATE IT when people offer me a finger!”

Since then “offering Jacob a finger” has become general back-of-house shop parlance for anything irksome.)

If my hair had any sort of curl or wave to it, any at all, this wouldn’t look so Winnie Cooper. But it doesn’t, so it does.

This photo convinced me to finally get off my lazy ass and dye my hair already, for the first time in a year or so. The next post will have much more pleasingly blacker hairstyles.

I’m sure you can imagine it, but here’s how it looked from the front. Not too shabby, but having a bow in your hair made out of your hair gets too messy too quickly, so I probably won’t be doing it again soon.

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Twisted Updo

Honestly, I only gave this one one go, and, knowing my hair (First instruction: “Start with wavy hair.” Ha! As if wavy hair is something one can choose, with product and curling irons! My hair mocks such choices,  jubilantly returning to straightitude five seconds after the pins/curlers/rollers/sprays do their business) I knew that it wasn’t going to look good no matter what I did, so I didn’t exactly put my all into it.

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The Twisted Updo, my friends, is a metaphor for life.

You get out of it what you put into it.

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