GOT SOME FUCKING GREAT HAIR GOING ON HERE, MY FRIENDS.
Are you ready?
First things first.
It was January first.
The one day all year you’re supposed to stick to your guns.
I’d made this loose resolution to toss up a quick blog post whenever I bought something that seemed made in a sweatshop and/or made in China.
It’s not that I’m going to try especially hard (I already try much harder than your average fuckface American, you know it.) not to buy shittily made shit (I’m in a sweary mood, sorry), because sometimes you can’t avoid it. But I’m going to own up to it, buy trying as best I can to write about it here, and to try to see, sometimes after the fact, if I could have, or can in the future, buy something more ethical.
So January fucking first.
We go to Skaggs (The neighborhood 5 & 10 is actually called Longs, but for some reason we call it Skaggs. Skaggs was the name of the drug store nearest my house growing up, and I swear to god you could get an ice cream cone there for .25. How could this be, in the 1980s and early 1990s? Who knows. Skaggs is a cuter name than Longs, so Skaggs it is.) to get hangers for the clothes pole thingie outside (not a clothesline, otherwise we could have recreated this hell [coincidentally, rereading that blog post about the difficulty of finding clothespins not made in China, I realize I’ve already done this China-project on the blog before, in 1997! I had a feeling. Ah well.]), and bobby pins so I can continue Hair Obsession 2013.
What the fuck? Completely unthinkingly, I bought a year’s supply of hair shit, and not until I was triumphantly nattering on in the parking lot about the kind of amazing hair I was going to have all year did I realize my pledge.
But it’s now January third, and I haven’t bought shit since, except five dresses at two thrift shops, totaling $15. So I’m back on the horse now, I guess.
What’s the purpose of these ridiculous little projects I do? Striving for perfectibility of the self—what an idiotic way to live. Thinking my minuscule lifestyle changes actually do anything to combat any of the awfulness in the world is a great trap.
I know this.
But what’s the alternative? Giving in to the sweatshop consumption machine?
I guess a better middle ground would be not spending quite so much time worrying how my bobby pins were made and spending more time on Planning Board projects, or other activist endeavors. Or creating more of a wider campaign to bring back bobby pin manufacturing to the US.
But I’m not going to do any of that (well, the Planning Board stuff, yeah.). I’m too old and tired. I’m going to keep working at my job and blogging about whatever is pleasurable to me, in my spare time. And I’m curious to what extent an average person can even meaningfully attempt to live with a minimum of sweatshop-made crap around them all the time.
So, I guess we’ll see.
Back to hair.
Instead of the Accessory Ideas for Your Bun, #12, which includes such fun ideas as “a scarve,” I went rogue and worked on my much-desired 2012 hairstyle, the French Twist Faux Hawk. Thanks to this lovely tutorial, I fucking cracked that one like I’d like to crack the heads of rapist frat boys.
The trick, for me at least, is to start it way, way higher than I’d anticipated, so you have lots of hair for the top of your head.
I dunno why I always look like such a damn sourpuss. Don’t I look like Kid from Kid ‘N Play here?
I was worried about the staying power of this style, but it did pretty good even after the little hike up and down a mountain we do every other day, which always sort of kills me. It wasn’t quite so buoyant, but it’s not like I’m hairspraying it, like I really should be.
After that I kept things rolling with #13, Maiden Twists.
Yes, I’m wearing pajamas. Brand new pajamas, in fact. Brand new pajamas made in China.
Which I may or may not have bought on December 27th, knowing I was starting this little sweatshop project on January 1st. Ugh. (I really like ’em!)
So, instead of making little braided headbands from your own hair, you do a twist. Lovely, lovely. Then I twisted everything underneath up again. It was pretty nice. Held up for the hike, too, which we did two days in a row!
I was on such a roll I even attempted the dreaded French Twist (#14 here). Ugh. I did it messy and barely at all, though, and I liked the effect.
(This style led me to this charming blog.)
(I am perfectly aware that all these photos lack sufficient detail of the actual hairstyle, and that I could lighten them up a bit. I am also far too lazy to do things like Photoshop hair photos, so…sorry.)
That’s all from this bitter old faux-revolutionary today, my loves.