living underground in the real world

resolved / outfitted

It is the end of January and I feel I need a reminder of my New Year’s Resolutions.

‘Cause I’m really, really, really failing at them.

Totally not failing at great outfits though. (I like putting them online because then in the morning I can wake up and just look through the blog on my phone to find an outfit when I'm tempted to just throw on jeans and a sweater. Why you have to suffer through these rushed blurry photos, well, that's another story.)

Totally not failing at great outfits though. (I like putting them online because then in the morning I can wake up and just look through the blog on my phone to find an outfit when I’m tempted to just throw on jeans and a sweater. Why YOU have to suffer through these rushed blurry photos, well, that’s another story.)

 

 

Here we go:

People who mean well but are always saying idiotic snipey things.
People who do not mean well and are always saying idiotic snipey things.
People who mean well but are idiots.
People who focus on the wrong things, to everyone’s detriment.

Backhanded complimenters.

These are the people who most fill me with rage.
This rage takes up a lot of time.

IMG_7085

Matchy matchy with the shop: thrifted skirt (slightly sideways), red velvet leggings (pre-Sweatshop Project purchase, def. made in China) with vintage ’80s leggings (realized only after working half a day one was upside down), used Marc Jacobs sweater! Pink and red and pink and red.

These are the people I am vowing not to concern myself with in 2013.*

What I will concern myself with in 2013: my own pleasure.

I really like this blurry photo. Reminder to self: purple leggings + purple dress. Do it.

I really like this blurry photo. Reminder to self: purple leggings + purple dress. Do it.  I had a truly epic French Twist Faux Hawk that day too. Pity I can’t take a good photo of my dang head. 

And that’s it.

Also: not interrupting people so much.
That’s really fucking annoying, I know.

I met a girlfriend for a drink the day I wore this, and the bartender, a mutual friend of ours (actually between the two of us we knew everyone in the restaurant that night, including the chef, owner, all the patrons, and the Mayor—small town livin' on a Friday night!) said, "Hey, my kid donated a sweater just like that to The Salvation Army last year—is that where you got it?" OF COURSE THAT'S WHERE I GOT IT.

I met a girlfriend for a drink the day I wore this, and the bartender, a mutual friend of ours (actually, between the two of us we knew everyone in the restaurant that night, including the chef, owner, all the patrons, and the Mayor—small town livin’ on a Friday night!) said, “Hey, my kid donated a sweater just like that to The Salvation Army last year—is that where you got it?” OF COURSE THAT’S WHERE I GOT IT. 

Also: drinking more water.

Here’s my 2013 in a nutshell: I listen to everyone yapping around me all the time, a million machines screaming all day long (the printer, the printer in the shipping room, the dough sheeter, the dehydrator, the Cheez-Its grinding cashews at 1000 decibels, the tempering machine, the iPad, the phone, the computer, the oven—my life is loud these days, everything always needs to have more toner, more paper, turn it on, turn it off, fix it, call someone to fix it, change it, do this, do that) but I live in a ZEN CLOUD OF CALM because my magical New Year’s resolutions mean that their yappingness rolls off me like butter.

In short: I focus on MY OWN SHIT.

Done with shit! Done with stooping to someone else’s shit levels.

Their shit is not my shit!

Also: I am luminous with hydration, and when I go out with my friends I politely listen to their words while not calculating in my head when they will pause so I can burst in with my own yappiness. (<—Jew.)

I was inspired in this by Kathleen Hanna, who had this to say about Beyoncé. It’s not exactly related, but it does relate to where we put our time. That’s my chief concern in life. We don’t have much goddamn time. Where are we going to put it?

Beyoncé isn’t Beyoncé because she reads comments on the Internet. Beyoncé is in Ibiza, wearing a stomach necklace, walking hand in hand with her hot boyfriend. She’s going on the yacht and having a mimosa. She’s not reading shitty comments about herself on the Internet, and we shouldn’t either. I just think, Would Beyoncé be reading this? No, she would just delete it or somebody would delete it for her. What I really need to do is close the computer and then talk back to that voice and say, Fuck you. I don’t give a shit what you think. I’m Beyoncé. I’m going to Ibiza with Jay-Z now, fuck off. Being criticized is part of the job, but seeking it out isn’t. That’s our piece to let go.

11 more months.

Do it!

Let

it

go.

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*How I’m failing at this: AS WE SPEAK I am in an internet fight about a One Billion Rising event in my town, aka “White People! Do a Little Dance And Pretend You Did Something About Female Genital Mutilation on Valentine’s Day!”

(I am simultaneously living two episodes of The West Wing at once: that one where Toby gets mad at those protestors because their methods are sloppy [conveniently mentioned in the blog post immediately below this one], and the one where Donna is telling Josh not to respond to things on the internet. [Have we discussed how TWW is now on Netflix Instant? Not that, ah, I was searching for it or anything, but did you know there is Toby/Sam fan fiction out there?

The man catches his wrist in a loose grip before Sam even realises that he’s reached out to touch him. “That’s what you came back here to tell me,” he says, sceptical. [SIC] His thumb is stroking along the vein in Sam’s wrist, feeling the pulse-point hammering beneath his thin skin. Sam is dizzy with desire.

“That I’ve got old numbers.”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

 

5 Responses to “resolved / outfitted”

  1. Dawn (Vegan Fazool)

    Most people (in our culture, anyway) aren’t really listening, they are just waiting for their turn to talk (to make their backhanded compliment or their snipey comment). *Sigh*

    I love the purple-on-purple and pink-on-pink action, btw. OH, YES!

    XOXO

    Reply
  2. Rachel Creager Ireland

    Eckhart Tolle says that when you see someone’s ego asserting itself (in my epxerience, usually the reason people say stupid things, meaning well or otherwise), you don’t need to do anything, just listen and be there with 100% of your attention.
    When you notice your own ego asserting itself (eg “I can’t let someone say something that stupid!” -It’s your ego that gives a shit what anyone else says), you don’t need to do anything, just notice it. Oh, there’s that ego of mine. When you notice it, it goes away.
    I’ve found sometimes it takes rather longer to go away than I might prefer . . . but it’s nice not to have to fight it, or pretend it isn’t there, or swallow it. Just notice it.

    Reply

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